Dim Bulbs

 “Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. Isn’t it obvious that God deliberately chose men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses?” (1 Corinthians 1:26-28; MSG, para.)

Sometimes I need to sit and remember where I was and who I was when I stepped across the line into this God-obedient life. At my core, I’ve always been me; this person who lives my life now always has been in there. It’s just that it was buried under layers of depression, persecution, addiction. And as I still struggle with being human – selfishness, insecurities, distraction, rebellion – there are moments I wonder if I’m really cut out for being a messenger in this God-life.

But God uses the dim bulbs to show how bright his light can shine.

How powerful the story of a person so beaten down who rises up in hope and light and goodness once he surrenders to God! How powerful the miracle of one who was so very lost and living in darkness who finds healing in Jesus and is forever changed! Flipping through the Gospels, the pages are littered with exactly these stories. The blind, the lame, the lepers, the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the dregs of society – these were the people to whom Jesus was the closest.

Going back through the Old Testament, the story isn’t much different. Time and again, God chose the weak and insecure to do his greatest works. Jacob was a liar, Moses was a murder and fugitive who couldn’t speak well, Gideon was insecure, David was an adulterer¹... The list goes on.

God doesn’t choose the squeaky-clean to carry his strongest messages.

Holding myself to high standards, it’s easy to feel like a screw-up and a failure. What I forget in my humanity is that God finds strength in my weakness. If I am strong on my own, what need have I of God? I was broken that I could be mended, wounded that I could be healed and mired in darkness that I might come forth as a bearer of light. 

“But he said to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size – abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10; NIV/MSG)

My prayer today is that when I feel weak I remember that in my weakness, God shows his strength. May I remember that the core of my message lies in the miracle of healing by Jesus, who brought me forth from darkness into light, pulled me from the depths, resurrected me from the dead.

Amen! =D

¹ Genesis 27; Exodus 2:11-15; 4:10-12; Judges 6:15; 2 Samuel 11:2-5

Am I Consistent?

“You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe, then you know you are out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.” (Romans 14:22-23; MSG)

This topic is on my heart tonight. It’s been on my heart more than usual recently, and certainly is on my list of things for self-examination this Lent. Especially as I write these devotionals and publish them in a public forum, I must ask myself, “Do people in my inner circle see behaviors, actions and attitudes in my life that reflect what I claim to believe?” ¹

Tough question.

I find the thing I’m grappling the most with right now to be selfishness. It’s so very easy to explain away a lot of my selfishness. I do give a lot of time and energy to people and things outside of myself. Some people even tell me they consider me selfless. But I know in my heart that I still could do better. Isn’t that always my battle, though? Constantly striving to be a better version of myself?

Perhaps the reason for the nag on my heart about being selfish is connected to a recent event in which I acted out of selfishness. Perhaps it is a recent event where self-will dominated, not God-will. Perhaps I’m simply feeling over-sensitive given some recent emotional events.

Perhaps God is letting me know it’s time again for growth.

Often when I feel something so heavily on my heart it is a good indicator both that my behavior requires some examination and also that it’s time to grow a little stronger in that area. Where am I selfish? Why do I feel the need to be selfish in that situation? What can I do to change the behavior? Am I lacking firm boundaries? What is the nature of the relationship in which I feel selfish? Is it healthy?

Of the many little cards and notes of prayers, inspirational sayings and scripture I have around my home, one says, “Lord, I want to be more like you. May I see where changes are necessary, and trust you for the help I need.”

Sometimes when my eyes pass over this card I find myself unwilling to read through it because I know it can mean hard evaluation and difficult change.

Following Jesus is not a calling to take lightly. Constantly striving to be more like him means constantly fighting my human nature. I am not naturally selfless; by nature I am selfish. And in my selfish nature I can end up withholding love from those who need it, wasting gifts God so graciously gave me, and hiding my light under a bucket.² I don’t want to be that girl.

My prayer today – as I suck in my breath, preparing for hard work ahead – is that God reveal to me where I am selfish and that I trust him to help me make a change. No excuses. I also pray that God grant me the ability to have grace and patience with myself, as I am human and therefore often prone to falling short of my expectations.

Amen! =D

¹ “Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by your integrity.” (1 Timothy 4:12; MSG)

“Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.” (James 3:13; MSG)

² “You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? Shine!” (Matthew 5:14-16; MSG, para.)

This verse appears in an earlier reflection as well.

Certainly Not the Least

“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matt. 25:40, NIV)

Today I want to tell you about Michael.

Michael first attended a service at our church this past summer. He faithfully continued coming every Sunday after for our combined 9:30am service, and transitioned to the 10:30am service when we went back to our 8 and 10am services after Labor Day. Shortly after that, he began attending the 9:15am bible study before church. Michael certainly is not one to miss many of our potluck gatherings, or events at the church which involve food.

In the seven months he has attended our church, I’m not sure if Michael has missed a service. I’ve missed a few due to being out of town, so I can’t say with certainty that he hasn’t missed at all, but I do know that when I am there, he is there. He may have been late a couple of times, but he still showed up for his Jesus time.

I do not know what Michael’s official diagnosis is. Some in our church speculate that it is a form of schizophrenia, which is entirely possible. He carries some mannerisms many of us associate with autism. I would guess Michael’s age to be somewhere between 25 and 35. Depending on how well his meds are working, he might be able to communicate something that resembles a coherent thought. As we’ve gotten to know Michael, some of us are able to understand what he’s trying to say – if we pay close enough attention.

When Michael started coming to our church we had to make some personal adjustments. His imaginary friend often misbehaves during the service and Michael will argue with him and tell him to be quiet. This was a shock to our systems, to our traditional hearts that are not used to such interruption to the readings or the sermon. Some parishioners took longer to adjust than others, with scolding glances thrown in Michael’s direction (which of course had little to no effect). Michael occasionally gets up out of his pew and delivers notes to our priest while he gives the sermon at the podium.

It took some time to adjust, but gradually Michael became a beloved and necessary part of our family. In spite of his apparent mental impairments, Michael has enough comprehension to follow our service schedule when we have special services; as I mentioned above he comes to nearly every potluck dinner; he attends Sunday school where one lady always gets his coffee while he finds a donut; and he even attended confirmation classes with the youth group. He knows what it means to pray, and I’ve never been so moved watching someone receive communion as when Michael does. There is no question in my mind that he knows the meaning of Grace, even if he never could tell us so.

Of all the people in my church, perhaps none embraced Michael so immediately and lovingly as our priest. Rev. Jim didn’t bat an eye or falter in his sermon when Michael showed up and argued with the unseen troublemaker in his pew. The first time Michael came up the aisle during the sermon to deliver a bulletin with simple and incoherent words scrawled across it, Rev. Jim broke his message only to accept the note, smile and say, “Thank you Michael,” and pick right back up where he was. He was sure to welcome Michael after church, and has invested time in learning more about him through community contacts in an effort to better understand his situation.

To say that there were no dissenters would be a lie. There were a very few who didn’t like Michael’s repeated attendance and disruption of the service. For the most part, though, my beautiful church family welcomed him and loved him just as they welcome and love all who come through our doors, just as they welcomed and loved me when I came through the doors. And as we got to know Michael and he got to know us, we found a balance. His outbursts are fewer and farther between and he lets us get a little closer to him to at the exchange of peace, though still isn’t always all about the touch of a handshake. He recently celebrated his birthday, for which one of our members brought a cake to coffee hour and a couple of small gifts such as gloves to keep his hands warm this winter.

In the last few months, as South Carolina Episcopalians were thrown into a battle of church politics and religion, I’ve lost count of the number of times that, in my church family, the conversation has quickly turned to a story about Michael. Because Michael’s membership at our church and the way our parish family embraces him as one of our own exemplifies the Christian message. It reminds us in an obvious and tangible way who we are and why we follow Christ. We have grown together, Michael learning from us and, most importantly, us learning from Michael.

Could it be any coincidence he showed up shortly before the diocesan upheaval began?

My personal belief is that there is no such thing as coincidence. I find strength in the bond of my spiritual family, our open arms and our desire to follow Christ and share the good news. I find great hope while watching our leader grow from some apparent disenchantment into a greater shepherd of his flock, desiring to protect us and keep us in the light. Perhaps Michael taught him a few things, too.

Today I pray that those who are seeking will be met with the grace and love that Michael found. May God lead them with open minds toward open doors and open hearts.

Amen! :D

Are You Tired?

Lately I’ve been under the attack of insomnia. Lack of sleep and always being on the go have left little energy for anything else. Though I’m still praying and spending time in the word, I have not been spending good, solid quiet time with my God. And I’m thirsty, so, so thirsty.

I’ve been blocked, completely without inspiration, and all the times I’ve sat down to write, words do not come – or if they do, they only spill onto the page in a jumbled mess.

But I will not let the enemy win by giving in to this severe exhaustion. He’s been able to take me down by depriving me of sleep in the past, but it will not work this time. I will not crumble under the weight of this fatigue. After all, I can rest in the arms of my Jesus.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG)

I gave today completely to God. After church I came home, changed my clothes, then went to the place where I always feel so close to him: the beach. It was a glorious, sunny day and I walked with bare feet on the sand, allowing thoughts to come in and go right out of my head, trying to clear the brain-clutter and just be with God.

When he said, “Be still,” I stopped and sat down in the sand. I laid back, arms stretched out, and until my mind could quiet, I asked to give over anything I was holding onto, for God to reveal and help me release whatever was holding me back. I gave him my exhaustion, my sleep troubles. Then I focused on asking him to fill me up, to breathe into me. And then I was still.

I would’ve thought more time had passed with how peaceful and rested I felt, lying there in the sand, just hanging out with God. And as the rain started to roll in and I walked back to my car, I didn’t feel quite so tired anymore. My energy was renewed and the light was brighter in my eyes.

Here’s to making the time to be still. Even when I am exhausted and I feel there are other things to do, what can wait until tomorrow so that I may take a few minutes to just sit and be still with my God?

Resistance is Futile, Anyway

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

“We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.”  (MSG, italics mine)

I have been wandering in the wilderness.  There were only a few times I ventured very far from the pasture; mostly I was hanging out near the gate thinking about going in, or walking along the fence, but on the outside.  I kept my communication with God open, but I found myself resisting him.  I acknowledged my resistance, asked for forgiveness, then plopped down by the gate, where I sat for the last month, trying to summon the energy to stand, dust off, then run as fast as I could into the arms of my God.

The last three and a half months have been difficult.  A period of let-downs, loss, shattered hope, death, grief and confusion followed the catalyst event referred to in, Really, God?  Before Christmas there was anger.  After Christmas, I went into maintenance mode.  There was a lot of reaching for God through the final sickness and death of my grandmother, with whom I was very close.  Then came exhaustion and just moving from day to day through life’s busyness. 

Fatigued, I sat down just outside the gate of God’s green pasture.  I said, “I surrender.  Here.  I don’t want it, I trust you to do what needs to be done.  But I’m tired and I need to sit for awhile.”  And in my weakness, he found strength.  I haven’t yet run back into the lushest of the grass, but I am inside the gate.  My peace once again is not fleeting or easily disrupted, and I have amazed myself in this last week at how I have grown, at what God has done with me. 

It astounds me to no end how I can come and go and come and go.  I suppose it is human nature, and if I’ve learned anything from the Old Testament about human nature, it is that we come and go.  The Israelites are an extreme example, but reading through the Psalms and the stories of David, I find someone human to whom I can really relate. 

There are still troubles, but not nearly as many.  I still don’t know what to do, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God knows what to do.  So I’m going to let him do it.  And as we move into this season of Lent, I will strive to reignite the flame that burned so brightly last fall. 

“For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God...” 2 Cor 4:6 (NIV).

Dear Lord, let Light shine out of the darkness in my life.  Help me to move forward in love with faith and trust, surrendering myself to you and believing that you are working good from this thing I call my life.  Grant me humility during this Lenten season and beyond.  Bring me ever closer to you and hold me in your heart.

Amen.

*In the spirit of no alle...lu’s during Lent, my equivalent happy face after the Amen will be on vacation until Easter.     

I Probably Ought to Get Spiked Shoes for This

Isaiah 2:3

“They’ll say, “Come, let’s climb God’s Mountain, go to the House of the God of Jacob.  He’ll show us the way he works so we can live the way we’re made.” (MSG – italics mine)

This was one of those open the bible randomly to a page & verse with prayerful hand moments.  I read Isaiah 2:1-5, but verse three is what stuck out to me the most. 

At first reading, the second half stuck out – that God will show us how he works so that we can live the way we’re made.  We can live the way we’re made.  And how are we made?

We are made in God’s image.  We are made of love.  We are made of light.

The problem – at least for me – is that it is so easy to get caught up in seeing how the world works that I forget to pay attention first and foremost to the way God works.  So I see what I think the world thinks.

I’m not good enough.  I have friends, but I still feel really alone.  I somehow often manage to do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, act the wrong way. 

Lies.  Lies the world tells me.  Lies the enemy sneaks into my thoughts.  If I listen to God, if I seek the truth, I hear that I am beautiful, that I am talented, that he loves me and has big plans for me!  So I need to pay attention to what God is doing so that I can see how he works and I can live the way I am made.

In order to do that, however, I must climb God’s Mountain.  And the way that translates to me today is that I have to lean on my trust in God and step out in faith to do that which he is calling me to do.  I must conquer any fear I may have, face the responsibilities he wants to bestow upon me, do the work he has asked me to do and climb that mountain. 

It will not be easy.  Climbing mountains of any kind is not easy.  There are many risks and dangers along the way.  Obstacles to overcome.  Which is where leaning on trust comes into play.  It is through trust in God that I will find confidence – confidence that should my foot slip and I start to tumble backward down his rocky crag, he will catch me and put me right back on my feet.  Confidence that, should I encounter an obstacle which feels far too large for me, God is always bigger and he’s got everything under control.

Thank God!

So here’s to stepping out in faith, to determination, to developing discipline to keep me on the path, to perseverance and to God’s gifts of mercy and grace.

“Come, let’s climb God’s Mountain, go to the House of the God of Jacob. He’ll show us the way he works so we can live the way we’re made.  Come, family of Jacob, let’s live in the light of God.” Isaiah 2:3, 5 (MSG)

That Wasn't Thunder...

Luke 9:28-36

This passage is typically referred to as the Transfiguration of Jesus since his appearance changes while he is praying.  According to Luke, “at once” after his appearance changed, Moses and Elijah were there with him.  They likely shared wisdom, offering guidance and counsel as they talked over Jesus’ future of death and resurrection.  

The disciples, who just can’t seem to stay awake while Jesus prays on the mountain (see also Luke 22:45; Mark 14:37, 40), suddenly wake up to find their beloved Master with his new dazzling, glorified appearance standing with Moses and Elijah.  Peter, unable to contain his enthusiasm, immediately wants to capture the moment.  Not having a camera, he suggests building three memorials, one for each of the three men. 

Suddenly, a “light-radiant cloud enveloped them.” Luke 9:34a (MSG)  All of my translations but The Message end this verse saying that the disciples were afraid, frightened, even terrified as the cloud rolled over them.  Admittedly, I would be quite fearful if a cloud were to envelope me just after I saw Jesus in his glory standing and conversing with Moses and Elijah.  But The Message gave this verse a much more profound meaning for me.  It spoke to me with such an absolute reaching into my heart that I had to stop for a moment after the first time I read it.

“As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they became deeply aware of God.”

Luke 9:34b (MSG)

Having spent nearly all of my memorable life in pain, despair and depression with only brief respites of happiness or perceived joy, I know what it is to be buried in a cloud.  The idea of finding God in that cloud, the possibility of becoming aware of God in that cloud, is a source of hope for even the least hopeful.  To know that I can be buried at the center of my dark, dark storm cloud and still know that God is with me brings comfort, even if the pain is still there and the darkness has not yet given way to light.

Follow that with God speaking to me in the cloud, pointing me toward Jesus, telling me to listen to Jesus.  Listening to Jesus provides a manual for living a life not so consumed with darkness.  I didn’t always see it that way – I was too far in the cloud and too stubborn to believe there was a way out – but it is true.  It doesn’t mean no more suffering and no more pain, but it does mean peace through every trial, joy in despair, and love that knows no limits. 

As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they became deeply aware of God.  Then there was a voice out of the cloud: “This is my Son, the Chosen!  Listen to him.”

Amen!  :D



©LKB

Holy Spirit, Come on Down!

1 Corinthians 2:6-13

“No eye has seen or heard anything like this,

Never so much as imagined anything quite like it –

What God has arranged for those who love him.” 

1 Cor 2:9

This verse goes hand-in-hand with another popular verse:

“I know what I’m doing, I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

When I daily ask God to open my heart so that I may receive his Spirit, he gives me his peace and joy, letting me know that he is right here with me, and promising that, no matter how things may look now, he’s got great plans for me.  But in no other way than inviting the Holy Spirit into my life can I possibly fulfill God’s will and see those plans.  I can’t do it on my own.  But God gives me his spirit and:

“The life-giving Spirit brings wisdom and understanding, gives direction and builds strength, instills knowledge and fear of God.” Isaiah 11:2-3 (MSG)

That same Spirit, “not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along.”  1 Cor 2:10  That same Spirit dives into the depths of God, dives into the depths of me, and brings out the glory and the light and the love – guides me with wisdom and understanding, and strengthens me in God – if only I will ask for it!

 How awesome is that??!

I may have been baptized in the Holy Spirit years ago, but it is my job to continue asking that the Spirit stay with me.  It is all too easy to give in to the world around me, making my heart an inhospitable place for the Spirit to live.

So, Holy Spirit, I most solemnly ask that you dare to dive from the depths of God right into the depths of my soul, penetrating my core, that very first part of me which God formed, and pull those things which God has planned for me to the surface one-by-one, that I may live in his joy and peace all the days of my life.

Amen!  :D

This Is Why He’s My Rock!

James 1:16-18

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 (NIV)

This is what I want to think about.  I like the good stuff that comes from God.  But I do understand that I have to have the bad stuff to know the good stuff. 

This verse is stuck in the middle of a couple of topics in James.  I know it’s related to the previous chunk about temptation, but I wanted to set it apart for a crucial element in this sentence: 

“...who does not change like the shifting shadows.” 

I am a small, miniscule, tiny, tiny little human being who deals with other tiny little human beings here on earth.  There is absolutely no way I can even begin to comprehend the magnitude of God.  He created our entire universe, and possibly other universes beyond that.  He gave light to the sun, set the stars in the sky, and placed us on this earth, giving us everything we need.

But I only have my tiny little human understanding.  I do believe that God is bigger than everything, that he can do anything, and that he infinitely loves and forgives me.   Yet my human brain wants to relate him to something in order to make him more tangible.  The problem here is that the only thing I have to which to relate him is other tiny little humans. 

Tiny little humans who change with the wind.  Tiny little humans who lie, cheat, steal.  Who abandon, abuse, betray, deceive.  Who, without fail, never fail to let me down.

This is why it can be so hard sometimes simply to trust God.  It is not an easy task by any stretch of the imagination.  I’ve got all my human-inflicted wounds, my people trust issues, my expectations to be let down.  All of this wants to carry over to God and it is a daily task to work beyond that.  I must remind myself that my heavenly Father is not my earthly father.  My Friend among the stars is not like unreliable friends I’ve had here on earth.  My Eternal Love is not at all like the romances I’ve experienced on this planet.

I pray that this is something I never forget, and that it is a task which will become less and less work over time.  Because I know God.  I just have to stop trying to assign human characteristics to God in an attempt to understand him. 

Amen!  :D

Why Can't I Just Flip a Switch?

James 1:5-8

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father.  He loves to help. ... Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.” James 1:5a, 6a (MSG)

So many times I have asked for help, yet not really expected to receive it.  Did I know God could do it?  Sure did!  Did I think he’d do it for me?  Sure didn’t.

I believed in the power of God.  I believed in the power of prayer.  And for a short time, I even believed it could work in my life.  But then my world fell to pieces again, and I feared that believing God would do anything for me would only set me up to be let down.  While I had experienced plenty of good things in my life, mostly what I felt was pain, disappointment, and abandonment.

So in my darkest hours, I couldn’t find the light.  In great desperation, all I could pray was, “God, help me,” but I didn’t really believe he would.  Because if I really believed he would and then he didn’t, there truly would be no hope left at all.  Better to ask and not expect to receive than to ask, believe, and be left in the dark anyway. 

“But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt.” James 1:6a (NIV) 

Doubt.  Defined as: 1) to be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely; hesitate to believe; 2) to distrust; 3) Archaic. to fear; be apprehensive about.  (Dictionary.com)

Uncertainty, hesitation, fear...  Distrust.  Having doubts about God is the number one way to prove I do not trust him.  I do not trust that he will provide.  I do not trust that he will catch me if I fall.  I do not trust that he will ever pull me out of my darkness into his light.  I couldn’t believe because to believe was to have hope, and to have hope meant opening myself up to the possibility of being hurt.  And I hurt enough as it was.

The thing is, truly trusting God and believing he will do all of those things listed above, even in the midst of trying times, takes the weight of the world off of my shoulders.  God will do what I cannot do, and there is a lot that I cannot do.  Surrendering to him and his will for my life, spending a great deal of time in prayer, meditation, and the Good Book makes life a lot less difficult to live, even when it still brings pain.

So I’ll keep earnestly believing.  I will keep trusting, I will continue to lift my hands high, and I will walk in his light.

“If you walk in darkness, you don’t know where you’re going.  As you have the light, believe in the light.  Then the light will be within you, and shining through your lives.  You’ll be children of light.”  John 12:35b, 36 (MSG)

Amen!  :D

Can You Hear Me Now?

Matthew 9:14-17

Though only a few verses long, this gospel lesson packs quite a punch if I listen, really listen to what it is saying.

In the bible translation, The Message, there are several times that Jesus asks, "Are you listening to this?  Really listening?" (Matt 13:9, for example)  I feel as though he is likely saying this after every lesson, even if it isn't written.  This is because he knows he has a limited amount of time to get the Good News out to the people and he wants to make sure they get the point.

God is Love & Light.  God is Forgiving.  God wants us to be Happy.

In this lesson, John's followers want to know why Jesus' followers do not fast as they and the Pharisees do.  Jesus resplies that one does not mourn at a wedding, and in The Message, he even says, "This is Kingdom Come!" Matt 9:15b

In an attempt to better understand this (am I really listening?), I have five different translations of the bible sitting open in front of me.  In all of them, John's followers ask about fasting.  In all of them, Jesus asks if wedding guests would mourn or be sad while the groom is still with them.  The New American Bible has a footnote explaining that, "Fasting is a sign of mourning and would be as inappropriate at this time of joy, when Jesus is proclaiming the kingdom, as it would be at a marriage feast."

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Matt 6:10  "This is Kingdom Come!" Matt 9:15b (MSG)  Am I listening?

I can mourn when Jesus isn't with me.  Which means that I have no need for sadness because Jesus is always with me.  "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:11 (NIV) 

So I shouldn't go moping around and complaining.  I need to put my nose in the Good Book and really listen.  The Kingdom is here - I just need to open my eyes and my heart to see it.

Amen!  :D