Not What, but Why?

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10)

Tall orders stand before me this Lenten season. But as I step out in faith, I understand that both the sacrifices and the supplements I feel called toward this Lent focus on three key elements:

Obedience. Discipline. Relationship.

Obedience is following that which God set before me as a major dietary change. Lent is a great time to start a new nutrition regimen, however all the new restrictions require a fair amount of research and learning on my end. Had I paid attention when I first received the instruction in January, my research could be done and I could be prepared. But I am human, stubborn and willful, and I not only ignored God's word on the matter, I also openly rebelled against it. So Lent, as a penitential season, provides good opportunity to turn, ask for forgiveness, say yes, and ask for strength to carry out the instructions now.

Discipline is not only sticking to the dietary regimen, but also making the necessary changes in my schedule to make and keep a commitment to reviving Little Meditations during Lent. I admit I've not given God the best of one-on-one time lately. I talked a fair amount about it; I spoke to things I could do to change it, but again, I am stubborn and willful, busy in my little human life, stopping to thank God and say a prayer here and there, but not taking good time to sit with him in quiet or to spend more time than the pre-sleep routine in meditation on his word. Lent is a great time to add back the pause and reflection offered by writing Little Meditations. Discipline is required in order to fulfill this commitment.

Relationship. Stepping into obedience of something into which God called me and disciplining myself in a way which results in more quiet & reflective time in prayer and study both move me closer to God. Every time I say yes, every time I am still, I move closer to God. God so desperately wants us to have real, personal, individual relationships with him. God does so much for me daily. The least I can do is work on my end of that bargain. The least I can do is modify my behavior to say, "You are important and I want you in my life. I will say yes to you and I will make time to be still." The least I can do is pay God more than lip service when I say, "Your will, not mine, be done."

Ouch. That last sentence kind of stings. But this is Lent. And Lent is a season intended for self-reflection and spiritual cleansing as I prepare for the death and resurrection of the One who sets me free. Free from the bondage of self1, free from the petty tyrannies of others2, free from the confines of this world3.

As we begin this Lenten season together, my question for you is not "What are you doing for Lent," but "Why are you doing it?"

May God's glorious strength be with you through this time and may you find his light shining through your commitment to him.

Amen! =D




1-Matthew 10:39; John 10:10
2-Romans 14
3-John 18:36

A House of Prayer for All People

"Make sure no outsider who now follows God ever has occasion to say, ‘God put me in second-class. I don’t really belong.’ … And as for those outsiders who now follow me, working for me, loving my name and wanting to be my servants – I’ll bring them to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. They’ll be welcome to worship the same as the ‘insiders.’ Oh yes, my house of worship will be known as a house of prayer for all people.” The Decree of the Master, God himself, who gathers in the exiles of Israel.” Isaiah 56:3, 6-8 (MSG)

Why some insist on picking and choosing scripture that excludes, rejects, condemns and promotes intolerance, I don’t understand. My personal experience of the Good Book is mostly messages of Love, Forgiveness, Acceptance…

Especially if we call ourselves Christians, proclaiming to follow Jesus – who himself said the most important commandments were Love God with everything in you and Love People, too (See Matt. 22:34-40), not to mention he constantly broke religious laws, healed people on the Sabbath, threw a fit and turned over tables in the temple, hung out with the dregs of society and railed against the Pharisees and Sadducees who were so rigid in their rules and traditions, intolerant and unaccepting of those who didn’t think like them (See Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) – it seems we send a conflicting message when we pluck certain condemning scriptures and judge others by them.

As a greater part of my church is in conflict and we strive to discern God’s will nationally, regionally and as parishes and individuals, my constant prayer is for Jesus to be present, that we remember to keep Christ in Christianity.

I praise and give thanks for my own church family, especially as I see those in leadership working hard to keep us moving in the right direction, following God’s will, remaining as bearers of the Good News with our doors, arms and hearts open to all.

“As for me and my family, we’ll worship God.” Josh. 24:15 (MSG)

If you feel rejected, excluded, unloved, or if you’ve turned away from God, Christianity or religion because you feel it has turned away from you, come to my house. Come see God’s love alive and present in my church.* We will welcome you and love you as the Child of God you are.

And if you can’t come to my church, I pray God will lead you to one like it. I’ve been blessed to experience many churches like my own in my travels – I know they exist and are waiting for you. Just ask God to take you there.

Today and all days, I lift up my greater church, all of us who find a home in it, and for Christians everywhere – I pray we keep Christ in Christianity and let his message, God’s message of Love, be that which takes priority above all others.

Amen! =D

*If you are in the greater Charleston, SC area and looking for a church home, feel free to contact me.

I Heart Hugs From Jesus

“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13; MSG)

As small children, when we fall and scrape a knee or the neighborhood bully teases us, we run to our caretaker. For many, this means mom or dad. For some it may be a grandparent or an older sibling. (Others are not so fortunate to have that someone at all.) We run crying into the outstretched arms of our person, and she hugs us, wipes away our tears, uses her shirt to clean the snot from our faces, and reassures us that everything will be all right. Over time, as we grow, this relationship may change form, but if we are lucky, we can still run into the outstretched arms of someone who loves us dearly.

There were a lot of times in my life when I was really hurting, but didn’t run into anyone’s arms. I was too afraid of being a burden, of worrying someone too much, of bogging someone down with a problem with which I knew no one could help me. The loneliness I caused myself with this thinking was nothing short of stifling. Maybe no one could fix my problem, but I wouldn’t even let anyone be there for me, just to love, support and maybe comfort me.

I know it was a trust issue. I didn’t trust anyone enough to do the right thing. I’d been burned far too many times by most, and when it came to my mom, I didn’t want her to have any more reason to worry about me than she already did. I didn’t trust her ability to handle me sharing my hurt with her.

Is it any wonder that this lack of trust extended to God?

Though I so often fervently and desperately cried out, “God, help me!” I didn’t trust him to do it. I did not let go and trust he would catch me. I did not run into his arms. I did not allow him to hold me or to comfort me. I complained, I shouted and screamed at times, asked the persistent question of “WHY?” without really listening for the answer, or if I heard it, deciding it wasn’t the answer I wanted.

There is a song, The More I Seek You, that is beautiful in its simplicity and imagery of a very real and tangible Jesus. A few months ago at a church women’s retreat, we sang this song several times, and it was then that I realized why it touched me so much.

God is not always presented as a personal, tangible God – which he very much is. And in this chapter of my journey with him, I find that I fall more and more in love with him as he becomes more personal to me. I can close my eyes and see myself running into the arms of my Heavenly Papa, who will hold me and love me, comfort me when I am sad, tell me everything will be okay when I worry, and heal me when I am hurting. I can close my eyes and get a big bear hug from Jesus, walk hand in hand with him on the beach, lie on my back in the grass with him beside me, my best friend.

What changed? Well, for one thing, I trust God now. Even when it’s hard, even when I don’t want to, I trust him. I also actively seek him. I spend time in the Good Book, spend time in meditation, spend time talking to him, hanging out with him, praising him. And he tells me over and over again, “You are my precious child. You belong to me and I love you so very much. I am always right here by your side, with you everywhere you go.”

And the more I trust him, the more I can trust others in my life, too. It is a slow process. I know they will let me down – we are human, it happens. But I feel safer knowing I’ve got God beside me, there to catch me if I am dropped, there to hold me and dry my tears, there to place his healing hand on my hurting heart.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” (Jeremiah 29:13-14; MSG)

My prayer today is that we all can move closer to our God, to know that we absolutely can run into his arms anytime we need or want. His arms are open, outstretched and waiting, and there isn’t a soul he will turn away.

Amen!  :D

Thought This was the Line for the Teacups

“Right now I am storm-tossed. And what am I going to say? ‘Father, get me out of this’? No, this is why I came in the first place. I’ll say, ‘Father, put your glory on display’.” (John 12:27-28a; MSG)

I’m pretty sure I didn’t voluntarily stand in line for the roller coaster I’ve been on recently.

Except that I did. The moment I prayed, “Your will, not mine,” I signed up. And every moment after, when amidst the prayers for grace, serenity, peace, and rest I earnestly lifted it all up to God and said, “It’s yours,” I got back in line.

God is the master planner, the principal architect, the one with the knowledge and tools to put my life together the best way it can be. Good thing, too, for his design is far better than mine ever could’ve been. My last entry, Cup is full..., was all about giving that truth a nod.

So following that writing, I got back in line to ride again.

Just after I received amazing, life-changing news (God working out those plans I of which I couldn’t have dreamed), I discovered mold in my apartment. My couch in the living room sat against the wall shared with the building’s laundry machines. At some point, some time ago, the washer leaked and mold began to grow on my side of the wall. (Completely unbeknownst to me, as I hadn’t moved the couch in the year and a half I’ve lived here.) It had been growing long enough that it had grown into my couch. My couch, my dear friend with whom I spent my evenings, where I ate, worked on my laptop, watched entirely too much TV, napped and occasionally slept.

I renewed my lease and they offered to have my carpets cleaned. Looking at my apartment I thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice to rearrange the furniture after they clean the carpet? It’ll be like a new place to go with the new life.” I think I knew I needed it. I also needed to do a serious spring cleaning and de-clutter.  I moved my couch to vacuum underneath and there it is. Mold. Dark, toxic mold. The kind of mold which, seeing as much as I could see of it and as dark as it was, likely expanded out from the visible spots exponentially.

Funny how God works.

I’m very allergic to mold. Suddenly, what I thought was a worsening of my asthma with age stood explained. The seeming ineffectiveness of allergy pills? Clarified. There was no amount of “cleaning” or “fixing” the issue with which I was comfortable. I had to move.

During the moving process I ran into trial after issue after unpleasant situation. Trip after trip in and out to the car, up and down the stairs... No time to pack in an organized fashion, just get the stuff out and get it out fast! And move it up stairs. (There’s a reason why I’ve lived on the first floor for the last ten years.)

Within a few days of being in the new place, I felt so much better. I could breathe easier, my allergies were more in check, I didn’t feel as fatigued. And you know what? I like being on the second floor now because I love having my windows open and I feel safer doing so when not on the ground floor. Though the apartment is the exact same layout, I’ve rearranged the furniture for a different set-up, so it feels new. The big, bulky couch is gone, and as I look at how I am de-cluttering in this major spring cleaning that took its form in haphazard moving, I just want to get rid of more. (I wrote about this in August – we can see how quickly I accomplished the task on my own!)

God’s plans are better. At first I resisted. On the phone with my mom after I found the mold, all I could utter was, “The absolute last thing I want to do is move.” But I didn’t have a choice. God made the choice for me. Fresh starts – new job, new home...  Things come in threes, so what came next?

I got back in line and then strapped in for the next big obstacle that hit me full-force as the move neared completion.

God, I know you go before me in all things and that you are with me through all things. Please help me remember always to find the joy in your divine design and not fall into bitterness or discontent. You prove time and time again that you do a far better job with my life than I do, so now and always (though I’ll forever have to renew), I place my life in your hands. Your will, not mine.

Amen! :D

Cup is Full, but He Keeps Pouring!

Ephesians 3:20

“God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!” (MSG)

This verse caught my eye while flipping pages, hunting for a different verse for my special Lenten project. I began to write the other, then realized this is the one God wanted. As I reached to shut down the computer and head to bed, he nudged. Write your gratitude, Love.

This verse embodies how I am feeling these days. I am so completely and utterly in awe of what God is doing in my life – it is without a doubt beyond my wildest dreams, more than I ever could have imagined, guessed, or requested. I can’t even count the number of times I have had streams of gratitude flowing down my face in the last couple of weeks. And here they come again now. I can’t help it: My Cup Runneth Over.

As his mercy and grace flow in and makes me new, the old is flowing out.

It’s almost an odd feeling, suddenly to be so overcome and to feel the wet of the tears rolling down my cheeks, not crying or sobbing, but breathing normally, and just tears and tears and tears like God turned the faucet on. I can’t stop it and I don’t want to. Even though it is a strange sensation, it feels amazing. Cleansing. Relieving.

I’ve had more than a handful of people ask if I’ve lost weight recently. I’m small in stature, so even a slight change is noticeable, but I haven’t seen it. All I can think is that God helps me continue to shed the pounds of my past. Every day he makes me lighter as he draws me nearer.

Words can never express the profound gratitude I feel.

Doors continue to open, miracles continue to happen. And I do mean miracles! God has restored hopes and dreams within me that I never thought could be revived.

I work really hard these days to stay in contact with God throughout my day, every day. The praying without ceasing is becoming more of a habit and less of an, “Oh, yeah, I should pray.” Every song I sing now comes forth as a prayer. And as much as I – I’ll say it again – as much as I wanted to be writing more and I had certain ideas about how I’d spend my time during Lent, God had something else in mind. Turns out he wanted some more intimate time with me, just me and God, God and me.

God opened my heart wide and revealed things to me I may have missed had I been intent on still trying to do things my way, even in a godly way.

God is good. All the time.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound; such a beautiful surrender. Not me, God, but you. Fill me up.

Amen! 

Are You Tired?

Lately I’ve been under the attack of insomnia. Lack of sleep and always being on the go have left little energy for anything else. Though I’m still praying and spending time in the word, I have not been spending good, solid quiet time with my God. And I’m thirsty, so, so thirsty.

I’ve been blocked, completely without inspiration, and all the times I’ve sat down to write, words do not come – or if they do, they only spill onto the page in a jumbled mess.

But I will not let the enemy win by giving in to this severe exhaustion. He’s been able to take me down by depriving me of sleep in the past, but it will not work this time. I will not crumble under the weight of this fatigue. After all, I can rest in the arms of my Jesus.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, MSG)

I gave today completely to God. After church I came home, changed my clothes, then went to the place where I always feel so close to him: the beach. It was a glorious, sunny day and I walked with bare feet on the sand, allowing thoughts to come in and go right out of my head, trying to clear the brain-clutter and just be with God.

When he said, “Be still,” I stopped and sat down in the sand. I laid back, arms stretched out, and until my mind could quiet, I asked to give over anything I was holding onto, for God to reveal and help me release whatever was holding me back. I gave him my exhaustion, my sleep troubles. Then I focused on asking him to fill me up, to breathe into me. And then I was still.

I would’ve thought more time had passed with how peaceful and rested I felt, lying there in the sand, just hanging out with God. And as the rain started to roll in and I walked back to my car, I didn’t feel quite so tired anymore. My energy was renewed and the light was brighter in my eyes.

Here’s to making the time to be still. Even when I am exhausted and I feel there are other things to do, what can wait until tomorrow so that I may take a few minutes to just sit and be still with my God?

Gratitude

Matthew 6:31-34

“What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (MSG)

Amen!

Working on My Butterfly

Psalm 51:10, 12

“Create in me a pure [clean] heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.”  (NIV)

“God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!” (MSG)

Lent can be a pretty somber time. It is penitential, about self-examination and sacrifice, and as we move through the season in scripture, Jesus moves toward his final hour in the flesh. Yet every Ash Wednesday, after my priest marks our foreheads with ash saying, “Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” after we’ve said a litany of penitence and confessed our sinful nature, the choir sings Create in Me, a song based on the verses above.

Lent is also a time of rejuvenation. It is a time for growth and renewal. And at the end, as the sun and son rise on Easter morning, we can give birth to our new selves, move forward in new lives. Lent is a cocoon. Lent is a retreat for the soul.

Many people give up things for Lent while others add in something new. Growing up, my mom, sister and I attended church, and Mom would make the Lenten resolution for all of us. I swear it was the same every year: No chocolate. Every year, at some point during Lent, a bag of M&Ms would show up in the house.

As a kid, I didn’t understand the significance of giving something up and sticking to it through the season. Even though I attended a Catholic grade school and I am sure was taught about what Lent was supposed to mean, it had no tangible meaning to me. I couldn’t see or understand any of it, and our yearly chocolate routine proved that there were no repercussions for not keeping a Lenten resolution.

So why do we do it? In my current adult understanding, the idea is based upon the fasting that took place in biblical times. Fasting isn’t just about sacrifice, it’s also about turning more of the focus on God. Fasting can be penitential and can allow for heightened awareness. But perhaps most importantly, fasting is a conscious act. A person chooses to fast in order to repent or to grow in a relationship with God.

In my lifetime, I can only think of one time I successfully stuck to giving something up for the entire season of Lent. I have found that I am far more successful if I add something God-focused to my routine. For where I am on my journey, throwing in another devotional or reading a new book (or getting back to Little Meditations) will do more to bring me closer to God.

Besides, I don’t eat nearly enough chocolate these days for it to be a sacrifice to give it up. 

Lord, as I snuggle into this cocoon of Lent with you, let my daily prayer be those lines from Psalm 51: Create in me a clean heart, renew in me a steadfast spirit, restore to me your joy, and grant me willingness. May the things I add or remove with intention this season bring me ever closer to you and help me to live in your will for my life.

Amen.

Lifted Up

1 Peter 5:10

“The suffering won’t last forever.  It won’t be long before [the God of all grace] this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ – eternal and glorious plans they are! – will have you put together and on your feet for good [will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast].”  (1 Pet. 5:10, MSG [NIV])

I’ve been hanging out in the desert for the past week or so.  I didn’t feel completely disconnected from God, but I knew I wasn’t where he wanted me to be.  He provided for me, then I ran with a couple of things on my own and actually kind of shut him out.  I kept talking to God some, but I wasn’t really listening for any response or direction. 

I’ve written recently about God allowing things to happen in my life for the purpose of teaching me about myself. I also outright prayed for him to break me because I know it can take drastic measures to hammer a point home with me sometimes. 

God was listening.  He watched as I wrote one day about a part of my life I always take back where I needed to learn patience, then watched as less than a week later I had already forgotten and was charging forward on my own. 

The series of events that took place just over this past weekend alone were so perfectly orchestrated to break me in such a precise manner that I was standing on the rim of hell before I lifted my hands high and God picked me up.  In a matter of moments, I went from being a completely and utterly terrified mess to resting in God’s arms, at peace, lighter than I have felt yet.  I could not have looked at the whole situation and seen how many things God was going to use it to heal.  It was impossible to know until it happened just how he was working it all in me. 

I feel God everywhere, but I feel especially connected to him at the beach.  I ended up on an empty beach Sunday evening, which is where this moment of healing took place.  God took me out there, when I had no idea I was even near a beach, and it just so happened to be a beach I have only been to one other time – another time God took me there for healing.

Standing at the water’s edge, I watched the sun set and felt God lift me up as I reached for him.  He restored peace and quiet to my soul, and took yet more things from me that have caused me pain.  I felt a renewed sense of joy, and when I stepped back, I was blown away by how symbolic my footprints in the sand were.  I’ve never had footprints quite like these.  Instead of being imprinted in the sand, they were extruded, almost as evidence of the weight God had lifted from me, evidence that he had lifted me up.

I’m thinking I should hang these footprints up as a reminder.  God’s grace is beyond measure and his mercy never ceases.

Amen!  :D



God is With Me

 

Image Source: Amanda Geisinger

Joshua 1:5b, 9b

“In the same way I was with Moses, I’ll be with you.  I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength!  Courage!  Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged.  God, your God, is with you every step you take.” (MSG)

God is with me.  This has been my mantra for a couple of days.  And it’s good to get a reminder that God won’t give up on me.

Looking over the last few entries I wrote as well as verses coming out of my devotionals, I can make no mistake that the events that took place over the last few days were all a part of the plan.  God knows far better than I do what needs to happen and what I need to go through in order to see where I really am with him in this new life.  It is no coincidence that I just wrote about how I have to know what I am not in order to know what I am.

God will never give me more than I can handle (1 Cor. 10:13), but sometimes I have to push myself to the limit.  I may not always be the biggest fan of the growth experiences God lines up for me.  The last few have been so intense that I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to come out unscathed.  Each rattled me in ways that were new and unfamiliar.

But the intensity was necessary to teach me vital lessons.  And I have no doubt the teaching is not over and that I have many more of these trials through which I will go.  God isn’t finished with me yet (Philippians 1:6), but he has great plans for me (Jer. 29:11) which were planned out before I even lived one day (Psalm 139:16).  Who am I to question it?  God knows what’s going on and that’s all that matters.  I need to trust him. 

All of this in its own gnarled way has increased my awareness of God in my life.  God knows he needs to rock me to my core to make things stick where I am in life right now.  In time, he may not have to pack such a powerful punch, but while I’m still shedding my old skin, he knows he has to bowl me over to get my attention. 

As I continue growing into this new God life, I pray that he knocks me over as many times as he needs to for me to get the message.  I also pray that I never forget what it means to be broken, even if that means God has to continue to allow me to break now and then. 

God is with me – he always has been and he always will be.

Amen!  :D

Did I Remember to Pack That?

1 Peter 1:18a**

“Your life is a journey you must travel with deep consciousness of God.” (1 Pet. 1:18a MSG)

The messages that I am receiving lately are all very much about developing an awareness of and a deeper relationship with God.  I am coming into the understanding that my life will never feel fulfilled without these things.  It is when I drift away – when I lose consciousness – that, in my disconnect, I find myself in discord, prone to confusion, chaos, discontentment, anxiety and fear.

When life seems to get really difficult is precisely when I should stop what I am doing and devote time to getting back to God.  When God gets out of focus, life gets blurry.  I have to make the time to clean my lens and make the appropriate adjustments so I can see clearly before trying to move forward.  What blows my mind is how long it takes me to do this, even when I know how much better it will make everything. 

No, my problems don’t disappear when I reawaken myself to the presence of God.  What changes is how the world around me affects me.  The reason it is said that God’s peace passes all understanding is because it does.  There is no human understanding of the magnitude of God’s peace.

While over and over it is reinforced that we are Loved and that God’s desire is for our joy and to provide us with all we need, it is also said a number of times that there will be suffering.  (It’s in a lot of places in the bible, but you can also find all of it in John 15.)  To have joy does not mean to be without suffering.  What makes all the difference is how I define suffering and how I let suffering define me.

As with many words, suffering has several variations of a similar definition tied to it.  From Merriam-Webster: Suffer – 1)To submit to or be forced to endure; 2) undergo, experience; 3) to put up with, especially as inevitable or unavoidable; 4) to allow, especially by reason of indifference.

It is such a common thing automatically to think of suffering as a negative, painful and unpleasant thing.  It can just as easily be seen as simply another experience.  God said there will be suffering meaning, life isn’t easy.  Stuff happens. 

But suffering does not cancel out joy, and in developing an awareness of God, cultivating a relationship and being deeply conscious of him I can find joy in my life here on earth regardless of my circumstances.  This is how many of the great masters across several religions and philosophies were able to maintain peaceful lives.  This is at the heart of the Way, the Truth and the Light.  This is where it all begins: Deep Consciousness of God.

Dear Lord, even when times are tough, keep me from losing consciousness.  Help me to fully experience life here by living in you, in your love, with your peace and joy through all the hills and valleys of my journey. 

Amen!  :D

**In The Message, this scripture is at the beginning of verse 18.  In my checking against other versions of the bible, comparable language falls at the end of verse 17.  Ever want to check out other translations of the bible without having to buy them?  BibleGateway.com has 30 different English translations as well as translations in many other languages.

Heaven Here

Revelation 15b-17

“The One on the Throne will pitch his tent there for them: no more hunger, no more thirst, no more scorching heat.  The Lamb on the Throne will shepherd them, will lead them to spring waters of Life.  And God will wipe every last tear from their eyes.”  (MSG)

Admittedly, I haven’t spent a lot of time with the book of Revelation.  John’s visions sound not unlike strange dreams, the kind from which I wake and feel odd for the rest of the day, whose images stick with me for many years because they are so bizarre.  For me, reading the book of Revelation is like sorting through these dreams, trying to find the pieces that make any sense or mean anything.

Currently, one of my devotionals is going through part of Revelation.  As I wade through the winged animals covered in eyes, the scroll and all it unleashes and the thunder and lightning and fire and doom, I try to pick up on what I can take away from it.  Today I found promises tucked into the chaos. 

Revelation 15b-17 succinctly outlines what it means to have everlasting life in Christ Jesus with God the Father in Heaven.  When I move into life with him, I shall never be in want.  All my needs will be met, and my sorrow will end.

What I believe is often overlooked is that one does not need to wait until life here on this earth is over in order to move into everlasting life.  With complete and total surrender to the Way, the Truth and the Life I will find that, indeed, all of my needs are met and my sorrow has ended.  The hard part is complete and total surrender.

In this world, perception is highly skewed.  And with all the distractions and the lessons I learned growing up in this society, it can be difficult to see with the eyes other than those of my own human nature.  Heaven on earth is possible, but it takes work and retraining of my brain in order to see that it can be here now.

The promise – shelter from the storm, endless provision, unconditional love, and joy.  The more time I spend with God, the more possible it becomes.    

God, I ask that you help me to keep my eyes open and to see the work you are doing in my life.  When my eyes fall and begin to scan the things which bring up my human worries, please reach down and close them so I spend a moment in prayer before lifting them back up to you.  Help me to keep my eyes on you, Lord.

Amen!  :D

He Ain't Lettin' Go

John 6:37

Near then end of my first week in treatment, a rather negative, opinionated girl came to join our community.  Fresh out of detox, she was sick as could be and the only words that came out of her mouth were complaints – usually littered with the “f-bomb” – about how awful she felt, about how much pain she was in, about how she didn’t want to be there, about how everyone was irritating her, about how she couldn’t get what she needed (*ahem* wanted).

Many of the other women in the community paid her no mind except to complain about her as she was always negative, always making our group late, and in general, just a miserable person to be around.  Another young, Spirit-filled lady and I pounced on her the first night we found her unhappy self slouched on the sidewalk by the clubhouse, wrapped in a flannel blanket, pale, shivering and sweaty, freezing and looking like death on a glorious, warm Florida evening. 

She was too sick to get away from us, and complaining or telling us to go away did her no good.  We raved about how life can get better, about the amazing things God could do, about how turning her attention and all the focus from all the bad stuff to something good, even if it was just the thought, “Today, I feel a little bit better than yesterday,” could make an incredible difference in how she entered and came through her recovery.

Queen of the “yeah, buts,” she slowly started asking questions, bringing up issues and ideas that kept her from wanting to believe in God or accept any kind of spirituality into her life.  Many of the other ladies started to see that there was something much more valuable in this young woman and came at her more from a caring mother/sister viewpoint rather than the irritated co-worker viewpoint.  My roommate took her under her wing like a child and all of us worked to show her the love she’d never had in her life. 

I’ll never forget the morning she got into the van and was as bright as the sun.  She’d figured it out, and was experiencing the newness of God’s joy.  That night she handed me a prayer she’d written about accepting Christ into her life and asked if I would find something just for her in the bible to read when we said the prayer together. 

I’m not sure why God worked it out the way he did – it’s not for me to understand – but we never got to pray that prayer.  God had me place her prayer in my bible next to the verse he’d picked just for her, but I never got to read it with her. 

Filled with this new joy and getting this new attention from the kind of people who before may never have given her the time of day, she got distracted.  She fell for one of the guys in treatment and he was good to her, which was also foreign, new and exciting.  The enemy, angry that she had thought about walking away from him reached in and grabbed her and took over just long enough to create a situation which resulted in her removal from the center. 

That night, as my roommate and I sat on our patio, praying for her, I opened my bible to where her prayer and my highlighted verse were.  The verse God had chosen clearly illustrated he knew it would be more for me than it would be for the young lady who wanted him in her life.  He knew we would never read it together, that it would be I coming back to it when I needed to hear it, to be comforted by it.  Because I knew more about the life she’d led, I had grown to love her like a part of my family, and now I watched her having been tossed back into the world unprepared.  I was worried and scared for her, understanding I may never know what happened to her.  But God pointed out to me that Jesus said,

“Every person the Father gives me eventually comes running to me.  And once that person is with me, I hold on and don’t let go.” John 6:37 (MSG)

Amen.  :D

That Wasn't Thunder...

Luke 9:28-36

This passage is typically referred to as the Transfiguration of Jesus since his appearance changes while he is praying.  According to Luke, “at once” after his appearance changed, Moses and Elijah were there with him.  They likely shared wisdom, offering guidance and counsel as they talked over Jesus’ future of death and resurrection.  

The disciples, who just can’t seem to stay awake while Jesus prays on the mountain (see also Luke 22:45; Mark 14:37, 40), suddenly wake up to find their beloved Master with his new dazzling, glorified appearance standing with Moses and Elijah.  Peter, unable to contain his enthusiasm, immediately wants to capture the moment.  Not having a camera, he suggests building three memorials, one for each of the three men. 

Suddenly, a “light-radiant cloud enveloped them.” Luke 9:34a (MSG)  All of my translations but The Message end this verse saying that the disciples were afraid, frightened, even terrified as the cloud rolled over them.  Admittedly, I would be quite fearful if a cloud were to envelope me just after I saw Jesus in his glory standing and conversing with Moses and Elijah.  But The Message gave this verse a much more profound meaning for me.  It spoke to me with such an absolute reaching into my heart that I had to stop for a moment after the first time I read it.

“As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they became deeply aware of God.”

Luke 9:34b (MSG)

Having spent nearly all of my memorable life in pain, despair and depression with only brief respites of happiness or perceived joy, I know what it is to be buried in a cloud.  The idea of finding God in that cloud, the possibility of becoming aware of God in that cloud, is a source of hope for even the least hopeful.  To know that I can be buried at the center of my dark, dark storm cloud and still know that God is with me brings comfort, even if the pain is still there and the darkness has not yet given way to light.

Follow that with God speaking to me in the cloud, pointing me toward Jesus, telling me to listen to Jesus.  Listening to Jesus provides a manual for living a life not so consumed with darkness.  I didn’t always see it that way – I was too far in the cloud and too stubborn to believe there was a way out – but it is true.  It doesn’t mean no more suffering and no more pain, but it does mean peace through every trial, joy in despair, and love that knows no limits. 

As they found themselves buried in the cloud, they became deeply aware of God.  Then there was a voice out of the cloud: “This is my Son, the Chosen!  Listen to him.”

Amen!  :D



©LKB

Holy Spirit, Come on Down!

1 Corinthians 2:6-13

“No eye has seen or heard anything like this,

Never so much as imagined anything quite like it –

What God has arranged for those who love him.” 

1 Cor 2:9

This verse goes hand-in-hand with another popular verse:

“I know what I’m doing, I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

When I daily ask God to open my heart so that I may receive his Spirit, he gives me his peace and joy, letting me know that he is right here with me, and promising that, no matter how things may look now, he’s got great plans for me.  But in no other way than inviting the Holy Spirit into my life can I possibly fulfill God’s will and see those plans.  I can’t do it on my own.  But God gives me his spirit and:

“The life-giving Spirit brings wisdom and understanding, gives direction and builds strength, instills knowledge and fear of God.” Isaiah 11:2-3 (MSG)

That same Spirit, “not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along.”  1 Cor 2:10  That same Spirit dives into the depths of God, dives into the depths of me, and brings out the glory and the light and the love – guides me with wisdom and understanding, and strengthens me in God – if only I will ask for it!

 How awesome is that??!

I may have been baptized in the Holy Spirit years ago, but it is my job to continue asking that the Spirit stay with me.  It is all too easy to give in to the world around me, making my heart an inhospitable place for the Spirit to live.

So, Holy Spirit, I most solemnly ask that you dare to dive from the depths of God right into the depths of my soul, penetrating my core, that very first part of me which God formed, and pull those things which God has planned for me to the surface one-by-one, that I may live in his joy and peace all the days of my life.

Amen!  :D

One Slice of Humble Pie, Please

James 4:1-10

James has a knack for revealing flaws in the human condition.  His frustration with the new Christians is obvious.  And I Imagine he would be just as frustrated with today’s Christians. 

In this piece of scripture, James is scolding us for fighting with each other to get our own way or to get what others have that we want.  He points out that we don’t even bother asking God for whatever it is we’re after because we know it’s for the wrong reasons.

I know when I’m not doing the right thing.  That still, small voice is right there at the back of my mind telling me to stop, turn, and bring him back to the front of my mind.  He’ll knock me down to my knees, but if I humble myself before him and ask for forgiveness, he’ll lift me right back up – higher than before.

Being in recovery and familiar with the 12-step system used by many different types of groups, I know this is often stressed as the second most important component of the program.  The first is surrendering oneself, the second is humbling oneself.  I’ve heard many a voice in those groups say, “I had to get down on my knees and get humble before God.”

Pride, ego and desire leave no room for God, but open the door to the enemy.  There is no happiness in this kind of life, no fulfillment.  If I am always fighting, always trying to get my way, or always wanting what I don’t or can’t have, I will not enjoy my life. 

God wants me to enjoy life!  But I must surrender to his will for my life before I can enjoy it.

“So let God work his will in you.  Yell a loud no to the devil and watch him scamper.  Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.  Quit dabbling in sin.  Purify your inner life.  Quit playing the field.  Hit bottom, cry your eyes out.  Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” James 4:7-10 (MSG)

Amen!  :D

C'mon People Now

James 3:13-18

“Live well, live wisely, live humbly.  It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.  Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.  It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.  You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.” James 3:13,17-18 (MSG)

James admits that getting along with each other is hard work.  As I like to say, the world is full of magical people.  This is how I refer to special members of the human race – whether they are odd, unpleasant, of large and intrusive character...  It doesn’t matter what their human affliction (I know I have mine, too), simply referring to them as “magical people” immediately softens my heart a little toward them.  I still may not want to be around them, but it makes it a little easier to “get along” with them.

It really is such a simple concept to get along with each other!  The Youngbloods even wrote a song about it, Get Together:

“C'mon people now,
Smile on your brother
Ev'rybody get together
Try and love one another right now”

I remember growing up, my mom and I would get into an argument, neither one of us budging on our side.  Finally, she’d say, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”  Imagine foreign dignitaries ending a debate that way, then changing the conversation to how they can work together instead of hold grudges, fight wars, or secretly plan and plot to undermine one another.

And what is the best way I can work toward getting along with the rest of the human race, to be “gentle and reasonable, overflow with mercy and blessings, treat others with dignity and honor?”  Jesus, of course, has the answer:

“This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.  This is the very best way to love.  Remember the root command: Love one another.” John 15:12, 17 (MSG, emphasis mine)  “This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples – when they see the love you have for each other.” John 13:35 (MSG)

Several times in church as a child and as an adult I’ve sung the song, They will know we are Christians by Our Love.  If I profess to be a Christian and do not love – do not walk in love, do not show love, do not spread love – then I am a very poor example of living a life in Christ.  If I gave love to everyone I met, how much easier might it be to get along? 

The Good News is that we have a new life in Christ, that he came for our salvation, he came in the name of love, loving every one regardless of social status, affliction, sin.  And God sent him in love to teach us how to live, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son.” John 3:16 (NIV)

So my prayer will continue to be that God help me to walk every day in love, to get along with all others I meet along the way, and to show others how much nicer life can be by making these choices. 

Amen!  :D