“Simon Peter, when he
saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. “Master, leave. I’m a sinner and can’t
handle this holiness. Leave me to myself.” (Luke 5:8; MSG)
Shortly before this moment, Jesus, in an effort to better
teach the eager crowd closing in on him, interrupted Simon in his work and had
him put his boat back out in the water. I would like to be able to read of this
interaction and the time in-between, but maybe it is better to imagine it...
Simon, James and John spend a long, tiring night out on the
lake only to come back empty-handed. They beach their boats and begin the
thankless task of washing their large nets. Perhaps they think about how many
nights there were like this, how they will provide for their families, when
they will finally haul in a good catch. Who knows if they even notice or pay
attention to Jesus and his growing crowd?
Then Jesus just climbs right into Simon’s boat. Totally hops
in uninvited and then has the nerve to ask Simon to get in, too, and put the
boat back out in the water. Simon recognizes
Jesus as the man who recently healed his mother-in-law (Luke 4:38-39). Feeling a bit obligated, he
complies with Jesus’s request, then sits nearby in the boat while Jesus
teaches the masses gathered on the shore.
I can’t help but imagine Simon spent that time in the boat
much like many of us do in the pew on Sunday. He catches bits and pieces of
what Jesus says, but he is distracted. His mind is on the long night and lack
of fish. He thinks about the net he has yet to wash. He knows better than to
expect James and John will do it for him since he’s stuck out here with this
Jesus character. Simon’s attention is feeble at best as he checks off his
mental to-do list and tries to prepare for the coming day.
As Jesus wraps up his sermon, Simon yawns. Jesus turns to
him and says, “Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch.”
(Luke 5:4) Simon thinks, “Is he kidding? Seriously? I didn’t catch anything all
night and I already have one net waiting for me to wash on the shore and now he
wants me to take the boat out again and toss my clean nets out?” He summons all
his courage and patience as he again remembers that Jesus healed his mother-in-law.
Half-protesting, half-obedient, Simon does as Jesus asks, sure to point out the
clear folly in his request as he threw the nets out. Immediately, the nets fill
with fish. So many fish that James and John have to bring their boat out to
help haul in the catch.
How often do I find myself in this situation? I’m tired, I’m
frustrated, nothing’s going my way, I’m worried about bills, I don’t have
enough time, and then – God interrupts. Absolutely no consideration for what I
think or feel about it, he tells me to put the boat in the water. Then he talks
for awhile and I sit in the boat, yawning and half-heartedly listening as I
think about things I need to get done. Then God nudges me and says, “Go deeper.”
Somewhat reluctantly, I go. And suddenly I find myself in that place of God’s
Abundance, that Romans 5:1-2 promise of the Peace and Grace that come
side-by-side with stepping out in faith.
I often feel like Simon Peter, falling to my knees and saying,
“I do not deserve this.” Because I know, as Simon knew, that I could’ve done
better, listened closer, tried harder, been more willing, etc, etc. The thing
is, I never could be “good enough” for God’s Grace. I never could do or say
enough to earn his Love. Which is why I am thankful that God’s Grace is freely
given. There isn’t a thing I have to do to earn his Love – it is already mine
without condition. And no matter how many times I fall, he will pick me up,
dust me off and kiss me on the forehead as he says, “I forgive you.” Every
time.
So how does Jesus reply when Simon falls to his knees and
confesses his feelings of unworthiness?
“Jesus said to Simon, “There is nothing to fear.” (Luke
5:10b)
There is nothing to fear.
With that, Jesus tells Simon, James and John that they will
be fishers of men. The three new disciples leave everything – everything – behind and follow Jesus.
Because it never really was about the fish, was it?
My prayer today is that I work harder to stay focused on
that which God reveals to me. It is so easy to be distracted by the things of
this world and my daily life. I pray that I may strengthen my ears to therefore
be quicker in perking them up when I hear the voice of my God speaking to me.
Amen!