Prone to Wander

 

"There goes another one..."

Know how God burns calories?

Chasing his sheep.

Philippians 4:4-9

“Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.  Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.”  (NIV, italics mine)

That I am still amazed at the drastic change I feel in my life when I make a point of spending time with God only points to how new I still am at truly making God the focal point of my life.  Complete and total surrender is not an easy thing, especially not for one as stubborn as I am.  Lack of self-discipline has been a theme in my life and is something I still struggle with, meaning I am prone to distraction and, of course, prone to wander.

I got caught up in the busyness of life and, one by one, parts of my day I had devoted to God started to fall away.  I was still praying now and then, still hitting church Sunday morning, still praising him, but life’s distractions had edged him out of my central focal point.  And I knew it happened, but I couldn’t seem to make myself shift it back.

As God moved out of my focus and I prayed less and less, feelings of chaos, anxiety, fear, and sadness began to move back in.  Before I knew it, I found myself in a state of discontentment, confused, a bit bewildered, and wondering how on earth I managed to let myself get to that point.

It wasn’t until I laid myself out and in earnest prayer admitted my error, asked for forgiveness, thanked him for all the blessings he still gave me and begged for help to completely surrender myself that I felt a change.  And oh! what a change. 

God is willing if I am willing.  If I open myself up in earnest prayer and show him that I really mean it, he will almost instantly lift the negative feelings from my heart and wrap me up in his wondrous love. 

God is faithful to the degree to which I am faithful.  Sure, he still provides and cares for me while I’m off wandering along the edge of the precipice, and, yeah, he’ll catch me when I slip and fall, but it is only when I turn and run to him that I will truly feel all the effects of his love, and get to know his peace which passes all understanding.

I pray that I may make a more conscious and consistent habit of earnest prayer. May I walk in his love always, and, though I still will wander from time to time – I am human, after all – I pray that my wanderings are less and less frequent and for shorter periods of time.   

Amen!  :D



BeAT[T]ITUDE

Matthew 5:1-12

Ah, the Beatitudes.  According to Wikipedia:

“The term Beatitude comes from the Latin adjective beatus which means happy, fortunate, or blissful.”

And since there is no such thing as coincidence, it makes me smile that part of the word is “at[t]itude.”  The Beatitudes, from the Sermon on the Mount, are Jesus’ way of condensing all the reasons to count ourselves blessed in life.

Like me, I am sure most who have heard the Beatitudes have heard them in the form of, “Blessed are the...”  This is one of those many instances that very commonly quoted scripture comes across differently in The Message.  At times, since I don’t have book, chapter and verse numbers memorized, I don’t even realize I’m reading the popular verses.  Such was the case when I highlighted Matt. 5:5 some time ago:

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are – no more, no less.  That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”  Matt. 5:5 (MSG)

I love it.  It’s so beautiful to me.  I often come back to that verse to mull it over and chew on it a bit.  To be content with who I am.  Not to desire anything more, not to think anything should be added, nor subtracted.  To find myself a “proud owner of everything that can’t be bought.”  Peace, love, happiness.  This is how I see it, because to be content with myself is to be at peace with myself, to love myself, and to be happy with myself.  The same for my life situation.  The same for the people God has placed in my life.

I look back and I see how, more often than not, my biggest problem was that I was restless and discontent.  I was not only full of self-loathing, I was overly critical of whatever I may have been doing with my life at the time, always seeing how I could be better, do better, live better.  There was no living in the moment. 

I cannot find contentment if I cannot live in the moment. 

Finding the moment, slowing down – I realize this is God’s purpose behind my time right now, just as it was a couple of months ago.  It is so easy to forget and lose track of time in the busyness of life.  But when I am happy with who I am and happy with my life, there’s no telling what doors could open.  Just as it shows when I am miserable, it shows when I am content.  And prospective employers are only a few of many who are far more likely to be drawn to contentment than misery.  Nothing is more attractive than someone who is content with herself and her life. 

I invite you to read the Beatitudes in my favorite translation.  If you do not own a copy of The Message, I have posted them here.

Here’s to an attitude of blessedness, to contentment, to peacefulness.  May I never forget that God provides me with everything I need, and to be content with who I am, where I am, and what I am doing.

Amen!  :D