Going on the Of[fence]

Ephesians 5:1-2

“Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious, but extravagant.” (MSG, italics mine)

I do my best to love, I really do. Admittedly, I don’t always like other drivers on the road or people who cause me to have to work harder than necessary, but I really do try to have love in my heart for everyone. I pray daily for God to let me be a channel for his love.

Having love in my heart for everyone is actually rather easy. What I find difficult – and I know I’m not alone in this – is caution vs. extravagance for love in action. Loving in a way I thought extravagant, trying to be like Christ, to give, to be kind, etc, has caused me pain, gotten me into trouble, and brought people into my life in a way I didn’t want them to be there.

I am currently taking some fear-based precautions with a new friendship. Recent events during my wilderness time reinforced these fears and sent me racing to the find my bricks and rebuild my walls, the same walls I’ve constructed over years of undesirable experiences. I tend to succumb to isolation. As much as I want people in my life (I really do), I simply don’t trust them (they make it hard). I am safer being lonely (that’s a lie).

In a conversation about this yesterday, though I realized that I am not doing what I’ve always done. I’m not falling back into old patterns despite the fear that I am.  I feel like I am being cautious, but what I am doing is working to enter this friendship slowly and develop appropriate Boundaries.

There’s a book by that name by Cloud and Townsend that has come up several times recently in unrelated conversations with unconnected people. A sign perhaps? I did a small group study on the book four years ago, but I am in such a vastly different place in my life – a place where I feel I really can set healthy boundaries – that picking it up again might not be a bad idea.

The problem with my old walls is that they are old. They have gaps and holes and cracks in all the wrong places from being torn down and rebuilt time and time again. In the book it refers to boundaries being more like a fence than a wall. A fence protects me, yet is still open. And it has a gate. I can talk to a neighbor over the fence without letting her in. I can walk away from the fence if the neighbor tries to attack me.

My walls, however, keep me closed off. They create an extreme of inside and outside with no intermediate space. People try to break in, and if they try to attack me, I can’t see it coming. I am actually more vulnerable with my solid walls than I would be with an open fence.

I just pulled the book off the bookshelf. I’m going to work on tearing down my walls, one-by-one, and putting a nice fence up in their place.

Now the question is, what do I want my fence to look like?

God, help me pull down these walls and put up a fence. Your hands and mine working together, help me to put each board in its appropriate place and properly locate the gate.

Amen!

Who Do You Think Inspired Newton?

Source: www.asc-csa.gc.ca

Romans 11:32

”In one way or another, God makes sure that we all experience what it means to be on the outside so that he can personally open the door and welcome us back in.”  (MSG)

Evil must exist so that I may know Good.  Darkness must exist so that I may know Light.  I must know myself as I Am Not in order to know myself as I Am.  Without one, I cannot know the other.

Newton’s Third Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  The New Testament is full of warnings that the closer we get to God, the more we shall be persecuted.  In those days, this often referred to the suffering and hatred early Christians endured just because they followed Jesus.  The key thing to remember, though, is that this also applies to the forces of evil which wish to work against us.  The more I move toward God, the more the enemy is going to try to push me back.

It is clearly illustrated in the story of Job that God allows Satan to bring great suffering upon Job.  Over and over, especially after natural disasters or sudden deaths, the question is asked, “Why does God allow bad things to happen?”  At the end of Job’s suffering, God blessed him in ways he couldn’t even imagine.  And in the wake of great disasters we often see an uprising of human good – be it humanitarian aid, people coming from all over to help out at the scene of the catastrophe, or just general human kindness and giving.  Following the death of a loved one, a family often comes together.  All perhaps only for a short time, but still an equal and opposite reaction.

Without one, we cannot know the other. 

There is a reason why I must endure desert times.  If I never wandered away from the fold, I could never know myself as the Wonderfully Made Child of God that I Am.  If I never experience “being on the outside,” I become complacent and gratitude fades.  By allowing me to wander out now and then, God ensures that I never forget how much I have for which to be thankful, how much he has done for me, and how he continues to provide.  He knows that, eventually, I will come to my senses, turn, and come running back to him where he stands by the open pasture gate with his arms open just waiting to embrace me.

The Good News is, the closer I get to God, the stronger I grow in my faith and the more deeply I am ingrained in his word, the shorter my desert times will be.

This morning I stood at the gate, shuffling my hooves and looking at the open expanse before me.  God patted my head and stood by with a smile on his face, making no move to stop me from leaving or shoo me back in.  The gate is always open, I am not forced to stay here.  As I looked up at my Faithful Shepherd, I was filled with gratitude for the things from which he has delivered me.  I “baa’d” a prayer of thanks and ambled back into the pasture, glad to have the desert be just a memory today and not where I am wandering instead. 

Amen!  :D 

Prone to Wander

 

"There goes another one..."

Know how God burns calories?

Chasing his sheep.

Philippians 4:4-9

“Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.  Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received from me, or seen in me – put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.”  (NIV, italics mine)

That I am still amazed at the drastic change I feel in my life when I make a point of spending time with God only points to how new I still am at truly making God the focal point of my life.  Complete and total surrender is not an easy thing, especially not for one as stubborn as I am.  Lack of self-discipline has been a theme in my life and is something I still struggle with, meaning I am prone to distraction and, of course, prone to wander.

I got caught up in the busyness of life and, one by one, parts of my day I had devoted to God started to fall away.  I was still praying now and then, still hitting church Sunday morning, still praising him, but life’s distractions had edged him out of my central focal point.  And I knew it happened, but I couldn’t seem to make myself shift it back.

As God moved out of my focus and I prayed less and less, feelings of chaos, anxiety, fear, and sadness began to move back in.  Before I knew it, I found myself in a state of discontentment, confused, a bit bewildered, and wondering how on earth I managed to let myself get to that point.

It wasn’t until I laid myself out and in earnest prayer admitted my error, asked for forgiveness, thanked him for all the blessings he still gave me and begged for help to completely surrender myself that I felt a change.  And oh! what a change. 

God is willing if I am willing.  If I open myself up in earnest prayer and show him that I really mean it, he will almost instantly lift the negative feelings from my heart and wrap me up in his wondrous love. 

God is faithful to the degree to which I am faithful.  Sure, he still provides and cares for me while I’m off wandering along the edge of the precipice, and, yeah, he’ll catch me when I slip and fall, but it is only when I turn and run to him that I will truly feel all the effects of his love, and get to know his peace which passes all understanding.

I pray that I may make a more conscious and consistent habit of earnest prayer. May I walk in his love always, and, though I still will wander from time to time – I am human, after all – I pray that my wanderings are less and less frequent and for shorter periods of time.   

Amen!  :D



There May Be No Tomorrow

James 4:13-17

What is your life?

Oh, God, My Faithful German Shepherd

Psalm 23:1

Psalm 23 in its entirety is a good one.  It is perhaps one of the most well-known psalms.  But I really would like to hone in on the first verse today.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."  NIV
"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need."  NLT
"The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack."  NAB
"The Lord is my shepherd; I lack for nothing."  Oxford Study Bible (Revised English Bible)
"God, my shepherd!  I don't need a thing."  MSG

So, God is my shepherd and I don't need anything.  Cool.

I know in general what a shepherd is.  A shepherd leads & feeds the sheep.  This is a reference used all over the bible, including instructing Christ's followers to be shepherds to his flock and feed his sheep (i.e. 1 Pet. 5:2). Merriam-Webster defines shepherd as: 1: A person who tends sheep; 2: Pastor; 3: German Shepherd.  (God spelled backward is Dog and a German Shepherd is a Dog, therefore a German Shepherd is God in Dog form.)  Dictionary.com gives a similar, but more descriptive definition (which still includes a dog): 1: A person who herds, tends and guards sheep; 2: A person who protects, guides, or watches over a person or group of people; 3: a member of the clergy; 4: the Shepherd, Jesus Christ; 5: Sheepdog.

Hmm...  God is my shepherd.  He tends to me, guards, protects and watches over me, herds me to guide me in the right direction, ministers to me and leads me through Christ's teachings, and loves me unconditionally like a fuzzy, furry pooch that will nip me in the heels should I start to stray from the flock, then lick my face to show me it was out of love.

Sheep don't worry.  At least, not to my knowledge.  Much like my kitties are well provided for as pampered housecats, all of the sheep have their needs met by the shepherd.  He (or the dog) steps in to rescue them should a wolf come hunting.  He leads them to green pastures for the lushest of grass upon which to snack.  (Psalm 23:2)  If one goes missing, he searches to find it.  (Luke 15:4-7)

God is my shepherd and I am his sheep and shepherds provide all the sheep need, therefore God provides all I need.

But I have tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt and am carrying a balance on my credit card.  But I just got laid off and am unemployed, not earning any income to pay on said debts.  But food for my belly and gas for my car cost more of that money I don't have. But, but, but.  I need to sit on my but and trust that God will provide.  If I haven't learned that by now, I need to start paying better attention.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion.  There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body.  Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God.  And you count far more to him than birds.  What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving.  Don't worry about missing out.  You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met."  Matt. 6:25-26, 31, 33b.  (MSG)

Amen!  :D