Room Full of Boxes

“From the ends of the earth I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you are my refuge.” (Psalm 61:2-3; NLT/NIV)

When life gets overwhelming, I like to use my “Room Full of Boxes” analogy. I came up with this analogy during a particularly difficult move. I got all of my things moved into my new home and unpacked the essentials, then left most of my stuff in boxes in the spare room and closed the door. Every time I opened the door and saw all the boxes, I felt overwhelmed. For months, my response was to close the door and pretend the room did not exist.

Finally, one day, I summoned my courage, breathed a prayer, opened the door and pulled out one box. After that, one box at a time, I finished unpacking.

Life is a room full of boxes. At any given time, I have boxes to unpack. They may be work boxes, family boxes, financial boxes, relationship boxes... When I get stressed and feel like I’m in a situation where several decisions need to be made at once, I want to close the door. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know where to start, I don’t want to do it, so I’ll just ignore it.

The problem is that closing the door to the room full of boxes doesn’t make the boxes go away. Neither does ignoring or delaying addressing issues that present themselves in my life. The more I resist, the harder it becomes, the more overwhelmed I feel.

It can be crippling.

So how do I combat the room full of boxes? The first thing I do is acknowledge it. Acknowledging the situation(s) making me feel overwhelmed takes away some their power. The second thing I do, when I stop being stubborn and willful, is to give it to God. “God, I feel overwhelmed. Here is my situation. I feel a little lost and like I don’t know where to start. Please calm my soul and show me the way.” Then I open the door and ask God to help me see one box at a time.

It is freeing.

“Do you not know or have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” (Isaiah 40:28-29; NAB/NLT)

If you find you are battling a room full of boxes today, feeling overwhelmed, lost and like you don’t know where to start, invite God to the doorway. As you stand together in front of the closed door, tell God about the room. Tell him about the boxes and what’s in them, then tell him about your heart and where your mind is. Take a few moments of quiet to feel him as he smiles at you and places his hands on you, reassuring you. Then, with his loving care surrounding you, take a deep breath, open the door, and reach for the first box.

My prayer today is that I invite God to my room full of boxes, trusting that he alone can show me where to start, trusting that he can help me unpack my boxes, trusting that he can give me strength to finish unpacking. God you are good and the source of all things good. I give my room full of boxes and my weary, burdened heart to you. Thank you for your endless mercy and grace, and your patience with me when I choose to be stubborn in following your lead.

Amen! =D

Working for What?

“People leave this world no better off than when they came. All their hard work is for nothing—like working for the wind. Throughout their lives, they live under a cloud—frustrated, discouraged, and angry.” (Ecclesiates 5:16-17; NLT)

It is safe to say that money is the number one thing that can poke holes in my serenity. Here in this society, money is required for me to make it from day to day – to feed myself, to clothe myself, to keep a roof over my head. Money also is required for education, preparation and relaxation.

I know I am not alone in this. Friends and family members have struggled over the years, some breaking free of money’s crush, others still living under it, and yet others choosing to remain unaware of any issue. With the ups and downs of the economy over the last several years, many of us found ourselves suddenly unemployed, and while God may have graced us with a new job, we carry the burden of debt accumulated while without work. Many who chose to take out school loans over recent years graduated only to be unable to find work adequate to cover the cost of their monthly payments.

And the cost of everything, it seems, continues to go up, up, up, while our paychecks, if we’re blessed enough to have them, stay right where they are.

Spend some time in Ecclesiates and you’ll see the author is very much fed up with our human patterns of existence. Perhaps he saw something similar in his time to what is common today of people working hard just to make ends meet and hardly getting to enjoy the life God gave them because of their constant toiling. He says it’s all for nothing. We can’t take it with us, so there’s no use for hoarding it. We should be enjoying life more, not being so consumed by work and worry.

But what about saving money for retirement? Or emergencies? What about providing for the kids?

Perhaps the main point here is that the author is trying to bring our attention to our fruitless works. Not to tell us to stop working all together, but to consider where our time is spent and how much we trust God to take care of us. In the introduction to Ecclesiates in The Message, Eugene Peterson writes:

“Ecclesiastes actually doesn’t say that much about God; the author leaves that to the other sixty-five books of the Bible. His task is to expose our total incapacity to find the meaning and completion of our lives on our own.” (emphasis mine.)

The primary message coming through in my reflections this Lenten season focuses on my need to rely on God, live into God’s will, and trust that God will provide and take care of all my needs. I’ve even written about how I know that doing exactly that is always the best decision I can make. But, human that I am, it becomes difficult when I sit down in front of the black and red of my budget and wonder how to make it work. How do I know when I’m trying to figure it out or if I’m trying to follow God’s lead? One thing at a time. Plenty of prayer and plenty of trust.

My prayer today is that I continue striving toward God’s will, not my own, even when it comes to my finances. May I trust him with my money and tear down the fears which stand between me and my pure belief that he will provide for all my needs. Lead the way, God, I’m right behind you.

Amen! =D

Run with Endurance the Race

“At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. Later, of course, it pays off, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. So don’t sit around on your hands, strengthen your weak knees. Clear the paths for long-distance runners so that what is lame may be healed.” (Hebrews 12:11-13; MSG/NAB para.)

Currently, I am training for a big run. As part of a twelve-person team, I will participate in a 200-mile relay race in less than two weeks. Before I started training in January, the last time I ran was in June.

One of the first things I had to learn as I began to train was to work on my words. I had to stop saying, “I’m not a runner.” Saying that diminished and devalued any attempt at progress I made. Instead, I worked to say, “I’ve not previously been a runner, but I’m running now,” thus affirming myself in my training.

The next great obstacle was my body, which did not want to run. For the past couple of months I’ve battled discouragement while nursing tight calves, weak knees and ankles, struggling lungs, misaligned hips and shin splints.

While running, to combat the pain and the negative attitude that tried to win in my mind, I turned to prayer. At first I tried sticking with gratitude lists, but eventually my mind fell to a mantra of brief, repetitive God-praising phrases to egg me on and keep my mind focused solely on God and not on my discouraging thoughts or resistant body.

Then came the moment when I ran my first full mile. Not long after that, I ran through two miles. Not long after that again, I ran three miles.

Triumph. And only with God.

I still battle pain and discouraging thoughts. It’s difficult to fit training into my schedule, and the shin splints won’t seem to go away even though I’ve given them rest and tried other methods for healing. But come hell or high water, I’m running in that race. The experience of disciplined training and having real, tangible evidence of progress and what God makes possible is more rewarding than I could’ve expected. For that, I am incredibly grateful.

Up next: a sprint triathlon this fall. I feel a little crazy to consider it, but I’ve seen from these past couple of months what God can do with me if I let him. (I’ve also realized that the only way I apparently have the discipline to work out or get any exercise is if I’m training for an event.)

“Let us strip off every weight that slows us down. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Think of him and you won’t become weary and give up.” (Hebrews 12:1; NLT para.)

My prayer today is that I place Jesus before me at the finish line and at all points along my runs so I can see and hear him cheering me on and see him jumping up and down at the finish line, just waiting to lift me up in his arms after I cross it, embracing me and telling me, “Well done.”

Amen! =D 

Painting Love

“God’s Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith. As the heavens tower over the earth, so God’s love towers over the faithful. As far as the east is from the west, so far have our sins been removed from us.” (Psalm 19:6; 103:11-12; MSG/NAB)

The Bible can be pure poetry with its imagery. One of the things I love about thumbing through different translations is to read how the same thing is said in different ways. The picture painted for me allows me to transcend the pages and step into the sands of the Israeli deserts.

If you’ve ever watched “Mary Poppins,” you might remember when Mary, Bert and the kids go on an adventure by jumping into one of Bert’s sidewalk chalk drawings. One moment they are standing in the street, the next they are running through a field, encountering dancing penguins, riding a carousel and then riding the painted horses off the carousel and into an animated horse race. All it takes is a little imagination.

This is what the Bible is like for me. I don’t ride carousel horses with Moses or Jesus – although I certainly could if I wanted – but when I get into scripture, really get into it, I’m not just reading words on a page. The Good Book comes alive and I find myself fascinated at the sights, smells and sounds around me.

Last night at my church’s Lenten dinner, our speaker shared many great words of wisdom on the love of God. One of my favorite things she stated, though, was that the Bible is a love story. It’s One Big Love Story all about God’s Love for Us.

The Bible is a love story.

From creation through persecution and into sending his son to live and die like one of us and then triumph over death and evil in the resurrection and ascension, the Bible is an incredible narrative of God’s love for his human children. What lengths, heights and depths he went to to prove his love for us!

I invite you, if you don’t already do this, to pull a Mary Poppins when you read the Good Book. Feel the sand beneath your toes, hear the thunder on the mountain when Moses meets God, see the delight on the faces of the children who flock to Jesus. To imagine being there is to make it feel that much more real and tangible. It aids in a deeply personal relationship with God, something he so desperately wants for us to have.

My prayer today is that as we prepare for the celebration of our Lord’s resurrection, we move toward a resurrection of our childlike wonder. May we allow ourselves to step outside of rigidity and read God’s Word with eager eyes, yearning hearts and open minds. It is the Greatest Love Story Ever Told, and I hope to see you in its pages.

Amen! =D

Come With Me

 “Jesus said, “Come with me.” They didn’t ask questions. They dropped their nets and followed.” (Mark 1:16-18; MSG, para.)

Is there anyone of whom you can think who, if they walked up to you today, would produce the same response from you that Jesus got from the first disciples? Can you think of anyone, famous, local or otherwise, who could compel you to drop everything and follow if only he/she asked?

Depending on which Gospel one reads, the story of the first disciples varies a little. Matthew and Mark both are brief: Jesus sees the men fishing, calls to them; immediately, they follow without question. Luke expands on it, showing Jesus teaching already, and being seen & known around town. He comes upon the fisherman and teaches while they are near, then performs a miracle before calling them to follow him.¹ John’s Gospel highlights John the Baptist declaring Jesus is the Lamb of God, and it’s his disciples who first follow Jesus after hearing the proclamation.²

What was it about this man that made some people so willing to give up everything and follow him? Was it the authority of his teachings? ³ Was it his living by example?  Was it the miracles, the healings, the fact that he hung around the lowly? Certainly, his healing power and the miracles were the reason a large number of people followed him, but for those closest to Jesus, the disciples, what drove them to stick to Jesus like glue?

I have the benefit today of having Jesus’ life and teachings, as well as teachings and letters from the first Christian churches, to guide and aid me in my Christian walk. Yet I have the comforts of a privileged human existence: roof over my head, food to eat, bed to sleep in, job, phone, computer, friends, family, cats... I experience Jesus from the pages of a book, miracles occurring without sight of him, and promptings of the Holy Spirit. I experience Jesus in the love and kindness of others, the grace and forgiveness of those I’ve wronged, the guidance and care of spiritual leaders.

One might say I’m well-prepared and have good knowledge of who Jesus is. But I have to ask myself: If I was out walking on the beach and Jesus came up beside me, saying, “Come with me,” would I go? Or would I be like those who said, “Okay, but first I have to get my affairs in order,” rather than follow him immediately?⁴ I don’t know the answer to those questions. I like to think I would simply say, “Okay!” but I know my human heart may have misgivings about giving up everything I know about living and everything I have in my life.

Yet it could be that being in the mere presence of the Glory of God in human form would remove all doubt, worry and fear, freeing me simply to say yes to God.

My prayer today is that in those moments when I feel Jesus calling, I do my best to follow. It may not always look like I want it to, sound like I want it to, or be what I want it to – certainly at times it may seem foolish and crazy to people around me – but may I do my best to follow. Jesus, today and all days I am graced with this human life, may I do my best to follow you with all my heart, mind and soul.

Amen! =D

¹ See Luke 5:1-11. Also this entry: May I Interrupt?

² John 1:29-51

³ Matthew 7:29; Mark 1:22

⁴ Matthew 8:18-22; Luke 9:57-62

Am I Consistent?

“You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe, then you know you are out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong.” (Romans 14:22-23; MSG)

This topic is on my heart tonight. It’s been on my heart more than usual recently, and certainly is on my list of things for self-examination this Lent. Especially as I write these devotionals and publish them in a public forum, I must ask myself, “Do people in my inner circle see behaviors, actions and attitudes in my life that reflect what I claim to believe?” ¹

Tough question.

I find the thing I’m grappling the most with right now to be selfishness. It’s so very easy to explain away a lot of my selfishness. I do give a lot of time and energy to people and things outside of myself. Some people even tell me they consider me selfless. But I know in my heart that I still could do better. Isn’t that always my battle, though? Constantly striving to be a better version of myself?

Perhaps the reason for the nag on my heart about being selfish is connected to a recent event in which I acted out of selfishness. Perhaps it is a recent event where self-will dominated, not God-will. Perhaps I’m simply feeling over-sensitive given some recent emotional events.

Perhaps God is letting me know it’s time again for growth.

Often when I feel something so heavily on my heart it is a good indicator both that my behavior requires some examination and also that it’s time to grow a little stronger in that area. Where am I selfish? Why do I feel the need to be selfish in that situation? What can I do to change the behavior? Am I lacking firm boundaries? What is the nature of the relationship in which I feel selfish? Is it healthy?

Of the many little cards and notes of prayers, inspirational sayings and scripture I have around my home, one says, “Lord, I want to be more like you. May I see where changes are necessary, and trust you for the help I need.”

Sometimes when my eyes pass over this card I find myself unwilling to read through it because I know it can mean hard evaluation and difficult change.

Following Jesus is not a calling to take lightly. Constantly striving to be more like him means constantly fighting my human nature. I am not naturally selfless; by nature I am selfish. And in my selfish nature I can end up withholding love from those who need it, wasting gifts God so graciously gave me, and hiding my light under a bucket.² I don’t want to be that girl.

My prayer today – as I suck in my breath, preparing for hard work ahead – is that God reveal to me where I am selfish and that I trust him to help me make a change. No excuses. I also pray that God grant me the ability to have grace and patience with myself, as I am human and therefore often prone to falling short of my expectations.

Amen! =D

¹ “Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by your integrity.” (1 Timothy 4:12; MSG)

“Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.” (James 3:13; MSG)

² “You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? Shine!” (Matthew 5:14-16; MSG, para.)

This verse appears in an earlier reflection as well.

Spiritual or Worldly?

"The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. Spirit can be known only by spirit - God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion."  
(1 Corinthians 2:14; MSG)

In my limited experience from this corner of society, on the whole we are not concerned with spiritual matters. We are materialistic consumers who want what we want and we want it now. We are on the go, always busy, not getting enough sleep, not eating right, not spending enough time nurturing ourselves. Go, go, go; work, work, work; do, do, do; spend, spend, spend. We compete for status, trying to keep up with the Jones's possessions, job titles, social circles, piety. Sometimes we compete with the non-conformists, trying to prove that we can conform the least and therefore better than the others.

Even churches and places of worship compete in this world for which denomination (or lack thereof) best exemplifies what it means to be Christian or who lives out the Bible as precisely as possible regardless of inconsistencies. The true meaning of what we claim to believe and follow gets lost and trampled underneath arguments, discord and rivalry.

It is impossible, when wrapped up in all these things, truly to be spiritual. How can I expect to connect openly with God if I'm placing all these other things before him?1 How can I receive what he is so ready and willing to give if I'm too busy trying to get things in this world?2

There is a movement taking place, though, which is pushing more toward the spiritual side of life. Right now it manifests itself in various forms other than religious. A few examples are: Nutrition & fitness self-care, a grassroots effort to move people to healthier eating and living while also taking better care of our God-given planet; Random acts of kindness as a steady trend with an upward swing showing our desire to love our neighbor and make the world a better place; Working for freedom of the expression of love among each other and the different ways that may look in order that we might find harmony.

People yearn for more. We're ready to move out of the desert and stop going in circles around the mountain.3 We are hungry for the spiritual, although it still may seem too taboo among some social groups to admit it. So we move about the undercurrent of acceptable forms of spiritual living, at times completely unaware that what we are doing is exactly that for which God hopes - moving closer to him as we open to our own spirit and in doing so open to God's Spirit. Then, living, breathing and moving together in communion with him, we find our gifts from God.

My prayer today is that I remain focused, not allowing the things of this world to jockey for position with God. In the moments that worry, fear or anything else seek to distract me, I pray for God's wisdom to guide me in righting myself that I may remain open - my spirit and God's Spirit in communion - living and using my gifts to the glory of the Lord.

Amen! =D





1-"Be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." (James 1:6-8; NLT)
2-"So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give." 
(Hebrews 4:16; MSG)
"What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving." (Matthew 6:31; MSG)
3-"Then we turned around and went back into the wilderness. We worked our way in and around the hills for a long, long time. Then God said, "You've been going around in circles in these hills long enough."
(Deuteronomy 2:1-3; MSG para.)

A House of Prayer for All People

"Make sure no outsider who now follows God ever has occasion to say, ‘God put me in second-class. I don’t really belong.’ … And as for those outsiders who now follow me, working for me, loving my name and wanting to be my servants – I’ll bring them to my holy mountain and give them joy in my house of prayer. They’ll be welcome to worship the same as the ‘insiders.’ Oh yes, my house of worship will be known as a house of prayer for all people.” The Decree of the Master, God himself, who gathers in the exiles of Israel.” Isaiah 56:3, 6-8 (MSG)

Why some insist on picking and choosing scripture that excludes, rejects, condemns and promotes intolerance, I don’t understand. My personal experience of the Good Book is mostly messages of Love, Forgiveness, Acceptance…

Especially if we call ourselves Christians, proclaiming to follow Jesus – who himself said the most important commandments were Love God with everything in you and Love People, too (See Matt. 22:34-40), not to mention he constantly broke religious laws, healed people on the Sabbath, threw a fit and turned over tables in the temple, hung out with the dregs of society and railed against the Pharisees and Sadducees who were so rigid in their rules and traditions, intolerant and unaccepting of those who didn’t think like them (See Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) – it seems we send a conflicting message when we pluck certain condemning scriptures and judge others by them.

As a greater part of my church is in conflict and we strive to discern God’s will nationally, regionally and as parishes and individuals, my constant prayer is for Jesus to be present, that we remember to keep Christ in Christianity.

I praise and give thanks for my own church family, especially as I see those in leadership working hard to keep us moving in the right direction, following God’s will, remaining as bearers of the Good News with our doors, arms and hearts open to all.

“As for me and my family, we’ll worship God.” Josh. 24:15 (MSG)

If you feel rejected, excluded, unloved, or if you’ve turned away from God, Christianity or religion because you feel it has turned away from you, come to my house. Come see God’s love alive and present in my church.* We will welcome you and love you as the Child of God you are.

And if you can’t come to my church, I pray God will lead you to one like it. I’ve been blessed to experience many churches like my own in my travels – I know they exist and are waiting for you. Just ask God to take you there.

Today and all days, I lift up my greater church, all of us who find a home in it, and for Christians everywhere – I pray we keep Christ in Christianity and let his message, God’s message of Love, be that which takes priority above all others.

Amen! =D

*If you are in the greater Charleston, SC area and looking for a church home, feel free to contact me.

I’ll Build on the Solid Stuff, Thanks.

I would like to thank a friend who recently started blogging for reminding me how I’ve neglected mine. This weekend while I’m taking time to re-balance my center and quiet the devil trying to knock me off of it, I thought this a good time to revisit my reflections & devotional writing.

“These words I speak to you are not mere additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundation words, words to build a life on.” (Luke 6:47; MSG)

It used to be when I fell out of contact with people that I was isolating myself. Whether I was too depressed, too caught up in one addiction or another, or both, generally I isolated because I believed the lies I told myself that I was nothing more than a waste of space and no one really cared anyway. Often, my tipping point came as a direct result of misplaced focus: putting too much of myself into something that was not guaranteed. It didn’t matter if it was person, place or thing; all were capable of producing the same results. When faced with the disappointment that ultimately comes from such misplaced focus, my response was to play the role of both victim and perpetrator and drive myself deeper into the darkness for awhile.

The problem is that I was building my life on sand.

My Midwestern family often vacationed in cities along the Florida coast. Being landlocked the rest of the year, the beach was one of our favorite things about vacation. Even as a small child who saw the ocean once a year, I quickly figured out that my sand creations would be destroyed by waves if I built them too close to the water. I also remember getting frustrated because the sand was hard to pack firm and often fell in on itself. And should a rogue foot come into contact with it, my masterpiece would quickly and easily crumble.

In my life, however, it took quite a bit longer to figure out the parallel.

I’ve worked hard to improve and strengthen my faith and my relationship with God as well as my life. It makes me happy that, though I might not recall which specific scriptures they are, stuff I’ve read in the Good Book is what comes to mind often as I go throughout my days. For awhile I prayed that praying would come easier to me; now I find I pray almost all the time. My focus is God. I’ve made God my foundation and I’m building my life on his Truth. It’s a much better life, a sturdier life. God is my rock, my root, my guaranteed thing.

God doesn’t let me down, God doesn’t disappoint. If I feel like he has, it probably means I didn’t get something I wanted, or the way I thought I wanted it. When God is my focus, I can take life as it is, not as I think I’d like it to be. With all my trust in God, the people, places and things around me can’t knock me down so easily. With my foundation on God’s solid rock, the devil can kick me as much as he wants, but he will walk away bruised.

So when I feel more susceptible to attack, it’s time to check my focus. If my peace is disturbed around certain people or by what I know to be false perceptions, it’s time to check my focus. If I’m spending more time thinking about peripheral things than meditating on God’s Word and will for my life... it’s time to check my focus. What am I looking at here – God or something else?

The best way to know is to crack the Good Book and see if I’m immersed in the light and living in truth on God’s firm foundation, or if I’ve allowed myself to build on some sand.

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit – but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.” (Matt. 7:24-27; MSG)

God, I pray that I continue to build my life upon you, that I may be unshakable, fixed to your truth. When the enemy strikes, help me to stand firm as I yell the battle cry, “I will not be moved!”

Amen. :D

Kindness is Catching, You Know

2 Timothy 2:20-26

“Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.” (2 Tim. 2:21; MSG)

I refuse not to believe in the basic good of all people.

What it comes down to is that we all have pasts. We’ve all been hurt, mistreated, abused, used, abandoned, praised, loved, hated, worshiped, forgotten, lied to… Everything everyone says or does is directly influenced by what happened to her and how she has or has not dealt with it.

This in no way excuses poor behavior, it merely explains it.

But at the core, at the seed of our being, we are all good people. God created each one of us, after all. Yet while God is so Amazing and Wonderful and Good, the world we created with our free will is often harsh and cynical and terrifying.

Society – at least in the corner of the world with which I am familiar – is far more slanted toward the negative than the positive, and more toward the individual than the group. Social implications teach us to tear others down to make ourselves look or feel better rather than build each other up. Tabloids and gossip shows exploit the famous, highlighting their faults and failures. Reality shows are often edited to show people at their worst, treating each other poorly and creating unnecessary drama. We find this entertaining, I think, because seeing what’s wrong with others’ lives makes us feel better about our own. Bad day at work? Boss was mean? Go home, kick back to reality TV and feel better by watching the petty drama. Or turn on the news and feel better about the blah of life because at least we aren’t in Syria, our kids haven’t been kidnapped, or our house didn’t catch fire.

Imagine what would happen if all that was taken away. Imagine if we focused on the good things and didn’t glorify negative news. Imagine what the world would be like if we really did just love each other.

These days, as I continue growing in my spirit-filled life, I work hard to stay positive, to encourage others, to give compliments, perform random acts of kindness, go out of my way to be nice to others – even if they aren’t nice to me. It does not take long to see the impact this has on the people around me. And I’m just one person!

Robin Sharma, an inspirational author, once said, “Leave each person better than you found them.” I was taught growing up to leave a place better than I found it. (Babysitting? Clean up a little bit, even if they didn’t ask.) I love, love, love the idea of applying that to people and I am implementing it into my behavior. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a coworker, family member, or clerk at the grocery store. Smile, be polite, engage. Doing that we just might make someone’s day.

I remember an email chain going around once that was the story of two boys, one of which was severely bullied. One day, the second boy went out of his way to be kind to the first, walking home with him and talking to him about the day. Years later, the bullied boy told the second boy that he had planned on killing himself that night until the second boy was nice to him. That one act of kindness gave him enough hope to carry on. We may never know what chain reaction our kindness has, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it can have incredible power! A kind word, a smile, a nice gesture…  Who knows what it could do for someone?!

So how does this relate to my refusing not to believe in the basic good of all people? In my interactions with others, it is that Good Seed God planted toward which I speak and act. If someone is rude toward me, I don’t talk to the rudeness. I reach out to the Good Seed. If someone offers harsh criticism, after he walks away I pray over his day and whatever may be going on in his life (Matt 5:44).

Now, it is important to bear in mind that this is a Christ-like attribute toward which to strive. It is an aspect of a spirit-filled life, a God-gift. We must, must, must always remember that we are human, we are not perfect, and we will not be able to keep this up 100% of the time. There is stuff going on in our lives, too. Just yesterday I allowed tired frustration to color my interaction with a pharmacy associate. She was only kind to me, but I was tired after a long day of work, irritated that they didn’t have what I wanted, beyond ready to go home, and therefore not as pleasant as I could’ve been. Even Jesus couldn’t keep it up 100% of the time (“Jesus was irate and let them know it…” see Mark 10:14), and if HE couldn’t do it, WE certainly can’t expect to. The key is to keep that in mind, to heighten our awareness of our attitudes toward others, to recognize and acknowledge when we fall short, and to pray about it, asking for forgiveness and the strength to do better the next time.

My prayer tonight is that I continue to work toward kindness, to seek out the Good Seed in everyone I meet, and that I can create sparks and light matches that help spread the Holy Fire of God’s Grace and Love.

Amen!  :D

Don’t Doubt, Just Do

“Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely.” (Matthew 13:12; MSG)

By far, one of the more difficult things for me to trust in this faith life is whether a message/thought/idea comes from God. In the past I lived in my own world in my head coming up with grand ideas and creating situations and relationships that often were not real. And when I would venture to pursue something I thought I’d perceived, I’d end up getting hurt or looking like a fool. Back then, if you gave me a crumb, I’d turn it into an entire shop full of baked goods.

I understand a lot of it was escapism. The world in my head provided a break from what I knew as a dark reality. In my head people liked me, I had friends, love was possible. In the world people bullied me, betrayed me, cheated on me. In my head I could be happy. In the world I saw no way out of my pain.

In this faith life my reality is very different. I am very different. When I find myself trying to escape into my head these days it is usually because I am avoiding a task God has given me that I do not want to do. And it is consistently fear-based.

The rational part of me knows that, with God, I have nothing to fear. But I am human. In my avoidance of his request, I begin to doubt, and I question whether or not it came from him or if I’ve made it up in my head. In my heart, I usually know the answer. But there were a few times I escaped into my head launching off the very thing God gave me to do and therefore completely and totally convoluted the whole matter.  The last time it happened I had myself worked into such a frenzy that I teetered on that old edge of self-destruction, nearly ruining a lot of good things I’ve got going in my life.

All because I couldn’t trust God because I didn’t want to accept something he put in my path.

My resistance, not the thing’s existence, was the source of my turmoil.

So now I find myself rolling down a similar, yet far less devastating snowy hill as I hem and haw over what he asked me to do. Because I’m worried about me. I got far enough into my head about it that I began to question my motives and if this really is a task from God. Yet I know, and I knew the moment he said it, that it came from him. Imagine how much time I’d save and trouble I’d miss if I followed through in the beginning! The fruit I daily see in doing just that is amazing...

So why do I still fight?

I’m human. This faith life is still pretty new to me. This trusting God, receiving his messages and honestly striving to live in his will thing is still pretty new. When I stopped and earnestly prayed about this situation, an answer came. Still, I doubted. So I opened the bible and God handed me Matthew 13:10-17.

As always, if I am listening, he speaks.

“But you have God-blessed eyes – eyes that see! And God-blessed ears – ears that hear!” (Matthew 13:16; MSG)

My prayer tonight is that I will seek to take this action the moment I feel any doubt or fear about something God has placed on my heart. Pray. Pick up the bible. Pray some more. Do.

Amen!  :D

I Heart Hugs From Jesus

“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13; MSG)

As small children, when we fall and scrape a knee or the neighborhood bully teases us, we run to our caretaker. For many, this means mom or dad. For some it may be a grandparent or an older sibling. (Others are not so fortunate to have that someone at all.) We run crying into the outstretched arms of our person, and she hugs us, wipes away our tears, uses her shirt to clean the snot from our faces, and reassures us that everything will be all right. Over time, as we grow, this relationship may change form, but if we are lucky, we can still run into the outstretched arms of someone who loves us dearly.

There were a lot of times in my life when I was really hurting, but didn’t run into anyone’s arms. I was too afraid of being a burden, of worrying someone too much, of bogging someone down with a problem with which I knew no one could help me. The loneliness I caused myself with this thinking was nothing short of stifling. Maybe no one could fix my problem, but I wouldn’t even let anyone be there for me, just to love, support and maybe comfort me.

I know it was a trust issue. I didn’t trust anyone enough to do the right thing. I’d been burned far too many times by most, and when it came to my mom, I didn’t want her to have any more reason to worry about me than she already did. I didn’t trust her ability to handle me sharing my hurt with her.

Is it any wonder that this lack of trust extended to God?

Though I so often fervently and desperately cried out, “God, help me!” I didn’t trust him to do it. I did not let go and trust he would catch me. I did not run into his arms. I did not allow him to hold me or to comfort me. I complained, I shouted and screamed at times, asked the persistent question of “WHY?” without really listening for the answer, or if I heard it, deciding it wasn’t the answer I wanted.

There is a song, The More I Seek You, that is beautiful in its simplicity and imagery of a very real and tangible Jesus. A few months ago at a church women’s retreat, we sang this song several times, and it was then that I realized why it touched me so much.

God is not always presented as a personal, tangible God – which he very much is. And in this chapter of my journey with him, I find that I fall more and more in love with him as he becomes more personal to me. I can close my eyes and see myself running into the arms of my Heavenly Papa, who will hold me and love me, comfort me when I am sad, tell me everything will be okay when I worry, and heal me when I am hurting. I can close my eyes and get a big bear hug from Jesus, walk hand in hand with him on the beach, lie on my back in the grass with him beside me, my best friend.

What changed? Well, for one thing, I trust God now. Even when it’s hard, even when I don’t want to, I trust him. I also actively seek him. I spend time in the Good Book, spend time in meditation, spend time talking to him, hanging out with him, praising him. And he tells me over and over again, “You are my precious child. You belong to me and I love you so very much. I am always right here by your side, with you everywhere you go.”

And the more I trust him, the more I can trust others in my life, too. It is a slow process. I know they will let me down – we are human, it happens. But I feel safer knowing I’ve got God beside me, there to catch me if I am dropped, there to hold me and dry my tears, there to place his healing hand on my hurting heart.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” (Jeremiah 29:13-14; MSG)

My prayer today is that we all can move closer to our God, to know that we absolutely can run into his arms anytime we need or want. His arms are open, outstretched and waiting, and there isn’t a soul he will turn away.

Amen!  :D

Ebenezer (Not Scrooge)

Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point, the lord has helped us!” (1 Samuel 7:12; NLT)

Threatened by attack from the neighboring Philistines, the Israelites – who spent twenty years in a “fearful movement toward God” after the last devastating Philistinian attack (1 Sam 7:2) – begged Samuel to pray for them.

“Pray with all your might! Pray to God, our God, that he’ll save us.” (1 Sam. 7:8)

Samuel prayed “fervently,” and as he was praying, the Philistinians crossed the border...  and God scattered them, bringing victory to the Israelites as they chased their enemy out of town. Samuel then raised the Ebenezer.

Ebenezer comes from eben ha-ezer,* Hebrew meaning “stone of help.” Samuel raises the Ebenezer where God brought the Israelites victory, as a reminder that he saved them from the Philistinians.

In most of my translations of the bible this verse ends with some form of, “God has helped us so far.” The Ebenezer serves as a reminder not only that God has helped us up to now, but that, as long as we give our lives to him, God will continue to help us.

I’m a fan of Ebenezers. Though my reminders aren’t typically rocks, I am big on symbolic things that correspond with events in my life, especially when and where God has done major work in me. Things to commemorate experiences, to help me remember them. And I need help remembering!

So whether it is a tattoo on my foot, a ring on my finger, or a coin in my pocket, I cherish my Ebenezers. If I find myself in a place where I am threatened with doubt, I can look at any of these things and remember what God has done for me. I can remember that God has helped me this far, and he’ll continue to help me as I strive to live in this life that he has made.

God, today I ask you to keep me focused, to help me remember how far you’ve brought me and to share your light and grace with others as I move through my day.

Amen!  :D

*NAB footnote

Cup is Full, but He Keeps Pouring!

Ephesians 3:20

“God can do anything, you know – far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!” (MSG)

This verse caught my eye while flipping pages, hunting for a different verse for my special Lenten project. I began to write the other, then realized this is the one God wanted. As I reached to shut down the computer and head to bed, he nudged. Write your gratitude, Love.

This verse embodies how I am feeling these days. I am so completely and utterly in awe of what God is doing in my life – it is without a doubt beyond my wildest dreams, more than I ever could have imagined, guessed, or requested. I can’t even count the number of times I have had streams of gratitude flowing down my face in the last couple of weeks. And here they come again now. I can’t help it: My Cup Runneth Over.

As his mercy and grace flow in and makes me new, the old is flowing out.

It’s almost an odd feeling, suddenly to be so overcome and to feel the wet of the tears rolling down my cheeks, not crying or sobbing, but breathing normally, and just tears and tears and tears like God turned the faucet on. I can’t stop it and I don’t want to. Even though it is a strange sensation, it feels amazing. Cleansing. Relieving.

I’ve had more than a handful of people ask if I’ve lost weight recently. I’m small in stature, so even a slight change is noticeable, but I haven’t seen it. All I can think is that God helps me continue to shed the pounds of my past. Every day he makes me lighter as he draws me nearer.

Words can never express the profound gratitude I feel.

Doors continue to open, miracles continue to happen. And I do mean miracles! God has restored hopes and dreams within me that I never thought could be revived.

I work really hard these days to stay in contact with God throughout my day, every day. The praying without ceasing is becoming more of a habit and less of an, “Oh, yeah, I should pray.” Every song I sing now comes forth as a prayer. And as much as I – I’ll say it again – as much as I wanted to be writing more and I had certain ideas about how I’d spend my time during Lent, God had something else in mind. Turns out he wanted some more intimate time with me, just me and God, God and me.

God opened my heart wide and revealed things to me I may have missed had I been intent on still trying to do things my way, even in a godly way.

God is good. All the time.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound; such a beautiful surrender. Not me, God, but you. Fill me up.

Amen!