Kindness is Catching, You Know

2 Timothy 2:20-26

“Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.” (2 Tim. 2:21; MSG)

I refuse not to believe in the basic good of all people.

What it comes down to is that we all have pasts. We’ve all been hurt, mistreated, abused, used, abandoned, praised, loved, hated, worshiped, forgotten, lied to… Everything everyone says or does is directly influenced by what happened to her and how she has or has not dealt with it.

This in no way excuses poor behavior, it merely explains it.

But at the core, at the seed of our being, we are all good people. God created each one of us, after all. Yet while God is so Amazing and Wonderful and Good, the world we created with our free will is often harsh and cynical and terrifying.

Society – at least in the corner of the world with which I am familiar – is far more slanted toward the negative than the positive, and more toward the individual than the group. Social implications teach us to tear others down to make ourselves look or feel better rather than build each other up. Tabloids and gossip shows exploit the famous, highlighting their faults and failures. Reality shows are often edited to show people at their worst, treating each other poorly and creating unnecessary drama. We find this entertaining, I think, because seeing what’s wrong with others’ lives makes us feel better about our own. Bad day at work? Boss was mean? Go home, kick back to reality TV and feel better by watching the petty drama. Or turn on the news and feel better about the blah of life because at least we aren’t in Syria, our kids haven’t been kidnapped, or our house didn’t catch fire.

Imagine what would happen if all that was taken away. Imagine if we focused on the good things and didn’t glorify negative news. Imagine what the world would be like if we really did just love each other.

These days, as I continue growing in my spirit-filled life, I work hard to stay positive, to encourage others, to give compliments, perform random acts of kindness, go out of my way to be nice to others – even if they aren’t nice to me. It does not take long to see the impact this has on the people around me. And I’m just one person!

Robin Sharma, an inspirational author, once said, “Leave each person better than you found them.” I was taught growing up to leave a place better than I found it. (Babysitting? Clean up a little bit, even if they didn’t ask.) I love, love, love the idea of applying that to people and I am implementing it into my behavior. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a coworker, family member, or clerk at the grocery store. Smile, be polite, engage. Doing that we just might make someone’s day.

I remember an email chain going around once that was the story of two boys, one of which was severely bullied. One day, the second boy went out of his way to be kind to the first, walking home with him and talking to him about the day. Years later, the bullied boy told the second boy that he had planned on killing himself that night until the second boy was nice to him. That one act of kindness gave him enough hope to carry on. We may never know what chain reaction our kindness has, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it can have incredible power! A kind word, a smile, a nice gesture…  Who knows what it could do for someone?!

So how does this relate to my refusing not to believe in the basic good of all people? In my interactions with others, it is that Good Seed God planted toward which I speak and act. If someone is rude toward me, I don’t talk to the rudeness. I reach out to the Good Seed. If someone offers harsh criticism, after he walks away I pray over his day and whatever may be going on in his life (Matt 5:44).

Now, it is important to bear in mind that this is a Christ-like attribute toward which to strive. It is an aspect of a spirit-filled life, a God-gift. We must, must, must always remember that we are human, we are not perfect, and we will not be able to keep this up 100% of the time. There is stuff going on in our lives, too. Just yesterday I allowed tired frustration to color my interaction with a pharmacy associate. She was only kind to me, but I was tired after a long day of work, irritated that they didn’t have what I wanted, beyond ready to go home, and therefore not as pleasant as I could’ve been. Even Jesus couldn’t keep it up 100% of the time (“Jesus was irate and let them know it…” see Mark 10:14), and if HE couldn’t do it, WE certainly can’t expect to. The key is to keep that in mind, to heighten our awareness of our attitudes toward others, to recognize and acknowledge when we fall short, and to pray about it, asking for forgiveness and the strength to do better the next time.

My prayer tonight is that I continue to work toward kindness, to seek out the Good Seed in everyone I meet, and that I can create sparks and light matches that help spread the Holy Fire of God’s Grace and Love.

Amen!  :D

Don't Bruise the Word

James 4:1-12, 5:9

This goes hand in hand with gossip, but there’s a key component James includes in this instruction: “It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk.  You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it,” James 4:11b (MSG)

As a Christian, I set an example by the way I live – the way I speak, the way I act, etc.  If I proclaim to try to love like Christ, then talk badly about someone, it only reinforces the hypocrisy which riddles Christianity and religion as it is.  Not to mention, as James says in 5:9, surely far worse things could be said about me.

Why do I complain or speak poorly about others?  Usually because they irritate me.  Sometimes it may simply be that my personality and theirs are not compatible.  Most of the time, if I really examine why someone irritates me or why I feel the need to share that irritation with others, I find that it comes back to me thinking I know how she should live her life. 

God has a plan for everyone, and I need to remember that.  Others may not think I’m doing what I should be doing, but I know that God is working in me.  I must extend that understanding to others when I am tempted to pass judgment. 

This is no easy task, especially when I see a loved one in conflict and I think I know what she could do to ease her struggling.  It is not my job to come up with her answers.  I may offer advice based on my own experience, but after that, I give it to God.  In no way should I think I’m right or that I know best.  How she comes through something may be completely different than how I would.

So yet again I will work to be careful in my speech, particularly when it comes to commentary on others’ lives.  If it isn’t helpful – and it usually isn’t – I don’t need to say it.  I will pray and lift up those in the midst of troubles instead of telling them and everyone else what they’re doing wrong and how I know how to fix it.

Amen!  :D 

You Are Beautiful and Amazing

James 3:1-12; 5:12

“A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything – or destroy it!  By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it.” James 3:5,6 (MSG)

Over and over in new age, self-help and Christian books I’ve read about the power of thought and word.  What I say can have profound impact on myself and others. 

In The Four Agreements, the first agreement is: “Be impeccable with your word.” Don Miguel Ruiz writes that, “Mostly we use the word to spread our personal poison – to express anger, jealousy, envy and hate.” (p. 33)  My words are poison when I use them negatively.  Gossip spreads poison.  If I speak unfavorably about someone, it can change others’ views of that person and it can make that person feel badly if she takes it to heart. 

Growing up, I heard over and over again at school and at home that I didn’t do things right.  Whether it was because I didn’t do them the way someone else thought I should or because I kept getting into trouble, I did things “wrong.”  I came to expect I would be a constant disappointment.  As a result, the idea took root and I struggled with it into adulthood.  I always have been much harder on myself than I need to be.  And if based on what I’d learned from experience I thought I didn’t do something “right,” I felt like a failure. 

This was a heavy and unnecessary burden for me to carry.  That root thought tainted every aspect of my life.  Fear of failure, Fear of what others would think about me if I screwed up, fear of consequences for doing even the smallest thing wrong.

All unnecessary.

I try to think carefully about what I say now.  When others gossip or talk negatively about someone, I try not to engage and/or I try to change the topic.  I’m not perfect – I don’t succeed at this 100% of the time, but I try.  I try to tell people good things I see about them, to encourage and spread positive energy.

If I, as a Christian, aim to walk like Christ, then my mission is to bring people up, not tear them down.  Consider Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42.  Martha, frustrated with doing work in the kitchen by herself, comes out and tells Jesus to scold Mary and send her to help.  Martha felt that Mary was doing the wrong thing because she was out with the men instead of in the kitchen.  Jesus, rather than scold Mary, pointed out to Martha that Mary was not in the wrong because she wanted to learn from him.  Martha could have torn Mary down, made her feel inferior, perhaps even given punishment for not doing what Martha thought was the right thing.  Jesus, on the other hand, gave it a different perspective, lifting Mary up and restoring her sense that what she did was okay. 

I have to be conscious of what I say and how I use my words.  My words can ruin the world or make it a better place.  It’s up to me to choose the words which make this a better life to live.

Amen!  :D